Originally Posted by
reeba
I hate to say it but there is lots of truth in the saying 'love is blind' - that initial rush of emotions and lust cloud sound judgement. Also if you ask a couple who have been together long term, love changes over time. If someone thinks they need to be swept off their feet and think that inital rush of emotions will continue to make their relationship work throughout the years, they are in for a disapointment. I'm all about the 'C average' - commitment, contentment, casual, comfort, common interests, consideration, communication, compatable, caring.
Unless there is something causing the ick factor - not attracted to him (and not because she views him as a brother, but there is a physical flaw she can't get over), she knows him so well that she sees flaws she can't live with (everyone is going to have flaws, but he has major ones) - I would say give it a chance. Friendship lasts a lot longer than love.
I wish someone gave me this lecture when I was 20 years old. I probably would have thought 'I need love' but back then I was all about that initial rush. Now I know nothing beats a steady and reliable friend who knows what makes you tick.
Did you even read the post reeba? There was no rush of emotions and lust. They have been friends for four years and she wants to remain friends. The guy is the one saying that they are gf/bf and is trying to pressure her into marrying him.
To Dear: I think that anyone who tries to "pressure" someone into marrying them is a jerk and not worthy of the person who they are trying to pressure. Chances are that this guy has been building up to this from the very beginning. She needs to either tell him that "it is never going to happen and to get over it" or simply cut contact with him if he cannot drop the issue. If she allows herself to be pressured into marriage how do you think her life will be? Chances are that he will rule her entire existence. I don't know a whole lot about the laws in India, but from what I understand a married woman has way less rights than her husband. I saw a bride slapped on her wedding day in front of her entire family by the groom because she didn't react fast enough to something that the groom wanted. She just pulled her veil down and cried. It disgusted me, but I doubt that it is uncommon there. Any guy who is demanding or overbearing BEFORE marriage will definitely be even more so after. That is doubly true in your society, so be careful of who you or your friend accept as a marriage mate.
Last edited by Incognito; 09-12-10 at 10:33 PM.
...one can be sure of nothing until it has already happened...