Werid (VERY) werid! Crush thats happened... has this ever haoppened to anyone else???

[Isabella86]

First of all I'm in a 4 year relationship with a guy who is my age and we live together and are very happy. I would never cheat etc. but I know crushes can happen, and its all good if you don't act on them. But... my latest "crush" is werid... a bold guy with a beer belly who is twice my age and is married with children! lol I've had some strange crushes in time (along with the really hot guys with the perfect body and hair ect) okay it started because I had a dream about him and I woke up and saw him in a new light! don't get me wrong he is a lovely guy and a great laugh (I work with him he's one of my bosses) but in the looks department, he has nothing lol also been thinking about him way too much. has anyone else had an experiance like this? Is this a phase? and dw I have no intention of telling him or making any "moves" I love my BF too much and I wouldn't want to be a "home wrecker" lol he's not the type to cheat on his wife anyhoo. I also like talking to him, which wouldn't happen if he found out. Could it also be possible that I'm confusing this crush with some other emotion because I've only thought about him sexually a couple of times? lol

[meshulam]

never happed to me.... but i think that once you get to know someone and get to like him, you think he looks better and can get attracted to him.
anyway, you probably think about him too much, if you happy with you bf try to take this guy outside your head.

[red_sparrow]

i have a crush on several of my professors, all while maintaining a healthy relationship
I think this kind of thing always passes. I've had like 3-day crushes on some of my boyfriend's friends, and even 2-hour crushes on some of them. In the end, your thoughts go out to the one you love, and thats all that matters.

[Ray Bork]

I have experienced what you are going through. You say he has nothing in the looks department, which obviously means little to you. Your boss is a lovely guy and makes you laugh, those two qualities are enough for many women to be attracted to a man. That is exactly what has happened to you. It is a mild infatuation that in your own words will go no further.
You are building this up in your mind, and have had several sexual thoughts about him. It is a phase you are going through, so I do wonder if there is something lacking in your relationship with your boyfriend.

[vashti]

Eh, it happens, and I don't think it means there is anything necessarily wrong with your relationship. As you get older, you will find yourself attracted to a wider variety of things. That is one advantage to not being a kid anymore.

[warriormaiden]

There have been so many weird crushes I have had, doesn't even phase me anymore.

I think it's nothing. But if I were you, I would be careful with pondering on those lusty thoughts, because a nothing can certainly turn in to a something that way!

[devonbrown]

You can have crushes, but don't confuse friendships for crushes. And the fact that this person is your boss is a red flag also. You might be confusing your respect for him, combined with your enjoyment of spending time with him, for something that your brain is interpreting as infatuation. Whatever it is, it is not strange. You can like people for lots of reasons, looks are often one of the least important factors after you start to get to know someone. Personality, humor, common interests, etc. are much more attractive in a person once you get to know them. How someone looks is often the first thing people notice, but the more you know someone, the less their looks matter. Plus, as someone else said, their looks get better in your mind as you get to know and like someone more.

[Isabella86]

Ok thanks for your replies guys I've taken some advice on board but there is a problem I've started thinking about him more and today in work felt way more flustered... also I want it to stop because I don't want the usual thing to happen when I like a guy I get on with -

crush begins - playfully flirt as if I'm joking - I gradually stop talking to him and be all clumsy - I tell a friend about the crush cose I can't keep it too myself any longer - nothing stays secret where I work - he finds out - its funny at first - then get awkard - and then we don't speak at all unless its work related - crush fizzles out - friend lost lol thats how it always goes, so my get question is how to I keep confident and just act myself instead of looking like a complete idiot

at the moment I would say I'm at stage 2! but thing is we always made flirty comments at one another as a joke so he won't notice anything different... thanks.

[smackie9]

Ya it happened to me. I had a wet dream about a guy in high school That I didn't find attractive, nor gave a second thought for. The feeling resonates for awhile but you will soon get over it....I think it has a lot to do with hormones and nothing more. The brain works in mysterious ways.

[devonbrown]

I would suggest concentrate on your work at work. Hopefully that will be enough to ease you through this patch of interest and get you to a point where you are more comfortable. Good luck.

[Gratedwasabi]

Ya it happened to me. I had a wet dream about a guy in high school That I didn't find attractive, nor gave a second thought for. The feeling resonates for awhile but you will soon get over it....I think it has a lot to do with hormones and nothing more. The brain works in mysterious ways.

Some people think it's a case of gene ideology. Basically your body sensing through hormones secreted in sweat (ie. scent, that you might not realize you're smelling) that said person possesses traits that would be ideal for your children (ie. possesses a strong resistance/immunity to diseases you are susceptible to, counters weaknesses your gene-pool has to cancer/blood pressure/etc, stuff like that.) It goes against the brain which tells you to look for the most potent, strong, fertile looking man. Make any sense?

To the OP, just back off from him a little bit. Talk less with him at work. Don't be rude or awkward about it, just make it seem like you're too busy. Take your sexual frustrations out on your BF, he won't mind. DO NOT TELL ANYONE YOU WORK WITH ABOUT THIS, EVER. DO NOT!

Funny story.. I was once disciplined and almost fired because someone under my supervision told someone else about a crush/whatever and that got around to MY bosses and their opinion was "even the appearance of inpropriety is unacceptable." In at will states it's totally kosher for them to can someone for that reason and it happens often, because companies are terrified of harassment suits.

[Isabella86]

Devonbrown - Ok I'll try my best with that thanks, but during quiet periods at work my mind can easily go wondering lol

[Isabella86]

Thing is im someone who can't keep stuff secret, else I'll explode lol also when I'm drunk it can easily slip out

[Isabella86]

Well I'll try my best to keep it secret, but like i said I HAVE to tell someone when I have something going on in my head lol I'm not sure If i would ever get a warning or whatever for liking one of my main bosses (he's salary) I probabily wouldn't actually but I wouldn't want us to stop talking

[Gratedwasabi]

Well I'll try my best to keep it secret, but like i said I HAVE to tell someone when I have something going on in my head lol I'm not sure If i would ever get a warning or whatever for liking one of my main bosses (he's salary) I probabily wouldn't actually but I wouldn't want us to stop talking

You'd be fine, he might get fired.

Tell someone outside of work. Tell a sister or something. DON'T TELL SOMEONE AT WORK. And don't go drinking if you can't handle the liquor.

To be a bit less nice about it, frankly you sound like a high school girl. You had a wet dream and now you have this big crush? Really? Get over it. You're going into work, you're looking at him and trying to find things to fantasize about and building nothing up to something. You're a grown woman, get control of yourself. Don't tell people you work with. Don't flirt with him. Problem solved.
Take your sexual energy out on your boyfriend, freaking before you go to work if you need to. He won't complain.