What do I do?

**Siggy** · 12-12-10, 02:09 AM

I'm in a funny situation. I've been friends with an older man (he's 17 yrs older) since the beginning of the year. At the time he was living with a girlfriend but they didn't have much of a sexual relationship. He and I liked to hang out and go to pubs together yada yada. After a few months we became physical and he would stay at my place or we'd get a hotel for the night.
HIs "girlfriend" found out and kicked him out and since he had no where to go, he moved in with me. He lost his job and I've been providing for him since.

About 2 months or so ago, he stopped sleeping with me. I've tried to turn him on, tease him but he acts completely disinterested. Then 3 weeks ago he runs into his first girlfriend from high school on Facebook. They talked on the phone all night and the next afternoon he tried to play me for a fool. He said he had a friend that was going to be in town and asked if she needed a place to stay, could she stay at my place. So I said ok. He was on the phone with her and he hands me his cell and she asked me to be her "wingman". At first I didn't know what the heck she was talking about.
Well she comes over, I'm dumb enough to make them dinner, clean up after them....
I go to bed and they stay up all night and around 5 in the morning when I'm getting up to go to work, I hear them in the next room having sex. I'm so PO'd and livid that I threw away all the leftover food I'd made for dinner, tossed his beer and took his pack of smokes.

When he got up around 10 he called me and wanted to know why I threw away all the food and I told him I was working and didnt have time to talk. Well, he told the other woman that I was mad and that it'd be a good idea if she left before I got home.
I found out the password to his facebook and had been reading messages between them that she had fallen in love with him again and wanted him to move in with her and marry her.

I decided to tell her that he's a cheater and has never been able to keep a steady relationship and she pretended to have my back and be all buddy buddy to me.. When she brought up the marriage thing, he stopped calling/facebooking her.
Well, he's started calling her again. I know he talks smack about me then denies it to my face. I monitor who calls whom because he's on my calling plan and I pay the bills. I know he wants to keep sleeping with her while living with me and having me support him. *I* want him to stop talking to her.

I realize that he is pulling the same crap with me as he has with all of his other girlfriends. People at a bar downtown that he frequents has told me plenty of colorful stories about him and I know how he works, but it doesn't change the fact that I kind of love him and don't want to let him go. I miss the sex and the intimacy, he just treats me like a roommate now and it ticks me off.

I'm peeved and don't know how to handle this. He denies that he has any feelings for her other than friendship, but I know he's a horndog and wants his cake and eat it too..

I feel like I'm turning into a jealous, possessive beotch and I've NEVER been that way before.

**Gratedwasabi** · 12-12-10, 05:10 AM

I. Is this a serious a post? I mean. What?

You're paying for a guy that has no interest in you besides the money you're spending on him, is cheating on you in your house, and you keep paying for and taking care of him? Are you insane or what? I mean, how do your friends not slap you and walk away every time they see you?

The only reason he's at all interested in you is because you're PAYING FOR HIM. I guess you're a huge glutton for punishment or something, I personally don't see the appeal.

Why would he stop seeing/talking to/****ing her or anyone else he wants? Infront of you, even? You let him do it and pay for him. Dude has got this shit hooked up.

**Siggy** · 12-12-10, 05:29 AM

I'm being totally serious!

**Gratedwasabi** · 12-12-10, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by Siggy

I'm being totally serious!

Then tell him to GET THE **** out of your house and life.

He is using you for money. He has absolutely zero interest in you on any level. He wants to **** chicks he likes and have his shit paid for. Period.

**Siggy** · 12-12-10, 05:54 AM

I can't help it I want him to stay and I want him to stop being a trick ass and f'ing around. I mean he's amost 50 years old and stil acts like he wants to be in college

**meshulam** · 12-12-10, 05:56 AM

I couldn't agree more, don't let this guy to use you !

he is not worth it, show him the way out

**Gratedwasabi** · 12-12-10, 06:27 AM

Originally Posted by Siggy

I can't help it I want him to stay and I want him to stop being a trick ass and f'ing around. I mean he's amost 50 years old and stil acts like he wants to be in college

Old. Dogs. New. Tricks. Doesn't. Happen.

It. Is. Who. He. Is.

Period. Will never change. Maybe he'll get desperate when he loses his bank (you) and acts perfect for a week (or at least around you while he sneaks his dick places behind your back.)

He will never change. Ever. It doesn't even sound like he cares about you.

**Siggy** · 13-12-10, 10:50 PM

Update: We went to my friend's birthday party saturday night and had a good time. When we got back to the house, I straight up asked him why he doesn't want to sleep with me anymore. He told me that it's because he's friends with my ex and he doesn't feel comfortable having sex with me, then hanging out with my ex.

**Boisdevie** · 13-12-10, 11:12 PM

He is 17 years older than you? Get a life. **** somebody your own age

**Siggy** · 13-12-10, 11:59 PM

I was married to someone my own age!

**1ncredible** · 15-12-10, 02:56 AM

This is beyond belief, sorry! Get rid of him immediately. Like the others have said, he will never change!

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