Yeah, he is getting what he wants and he is initiating all of it. Funny how he doesn't mention it because he is getting everything he needs. Sure, you are going to read into "he holds me tightly afterwards! He's never done that before!" and think that he has made a change of heart and wants more serious things, but if he isn't talking about it, he's not making progress and moves toward it.
The question you should be asking yourself is "How does this make sense?" You broke up, you keep in touch, you still sleep together. How has anything changed from before? And if you think things are going to be different, you are going to end up in an asylum as a mental patient. If he wants to work on things, maybe you should take it slow and not get so physical (as in sleeping with him twice the first week after a break up). If he wants to be with you, he's going to enjoy being with you when sex isn't in the equation. If you can hold out from him and still enjoy each other's company, you might have a shot at this really working. I don't see that as the case though.
You are 31? Really?
Waking up next to a beautiful girl,
Step outside and say hello to my beautiful world.