what do you think are the chances of me getting this boy? (+ other crappy issues)

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

there's this boy. we go to the same high school. i like him. A lot. honestly I think its because he reminds me of another guy I had the hugest crush on for like a year like 3 years ago. I've only spoken to him a few times though and was all nervous every single time so i didnt say as much as i could have. but I like him...i mean hes my type far as i know but i still need to get to know him a little deeper. he's pretty chilled-out, and funny - and I don't mean fake funny like when girls just pretend they think a guy is funny because they like him, but he actually is funny. I'd say we get along pretty decently so far but aside from the fact that imm petrified around him, here are some obstacles...

well first off how do you ask somebody you dont even know for real and you know is out of your league out somewhere? i know you probably just go up and ask but hes always either walking fast or around his posse (and i hate them, remember). and if he says no...dude that cant happen to me in front of all those people.

second...i hate his friends. They're retarded I swear. Id never try to change him or take him away from his friends, I know that's wrong but I don't think they like me either. Especially this one shaggy-haired kid whos a moody ass. If a guy's friends didnt like a girl, but by some insane chance it turns out he might like me back would they try to talk him out of it? That might hurt my chances with him cause theyre pretty tight it looks like.

and..i JUST turned 18 like this last Tuesday. He's still 17. I'm not trying to be gross but seriously I'm going to be very sad if he's off-limits. Ive been told by one girl it's legal if your ages are within 3 years of each other but I dunno I thought it was strictly above and below age of consent (18) no matter what. like an 18 year old cant date a 17 year old because 17 is below 18. or do they not care. this is USA law.

plus i need to redeem myself. does anyone here read cosmopolitan magazine? well you know they have a whole range of stupid flirting tips. i was over my aunt's reading some old copies. i was stupid enough to actually try one on him. it was the most epic fail of my entire life. i hate that magazine now...i dont even want to go into it. im gonna cry. im just lucky i didnt pick one of the pervy ones to try. desperation drives people to do the stupidest things...like take advice from cosmopolitan.

and last but not the least of my issues..

if there's anybody on here who remembers I posted a while ago...I think it was like a month ago, short while...about my dad. We've been sleeping separately now like 4 out of 7 days a week (yay ME!) and stopped the PDA and are more "normalized" now than before but something happened earlier.

mk...we were both sitting on the couch watching an old movie (ghostbusters! one of my favorites). It was normal. Look I dont have the best long OR short term memory in the world and don't really want to remember all of it in any detail right now anyway because i feel weird but I kissed my dad. i guess it started out like our normal platonic kiss like usual but we actually kissed for a long time like a real kiss. I did it out of the blue no reason (literally it was illogical!).
im an idiot.

I thought about it only like three seconds before doing it. while it was happening im pretty sure i liked (since i did it) it but a few minutes after i processed what i just did i felt pretty odd. im pretty sure my face was completely red. after it happened i didnt really know what to do so I just gave him this goofy smile (like i do when i've done something stupid) hoping he wouldnt think ive gone insane. he raised his eyebrows (gave me a surprised look) but then just laughed it off & said 'well somebody wanted some sugar' (i think he was imitating my grandma because he normally doesnt say sugar for kisses...how irrelevant) and then he kissed my forehead. i laid back on him and stared at the TV the rest of the time feeling like an idiot. since it was ME who suggested we rarely even kiss on the lips anymore for the sake of normality!

THIS is why i need a boyfriend.

So ive been thinking maybe I should risk embarassing myself and go after this boy. maybe if Im with him I wont like my dad that way and can stick to my guns.

thoughts and advice (especially on my effed up boyfriend getting skills or lack of) is much needed..thanks.
but i honestly think i do like him not just as a distraction from this dad+me issue. i just think itll kill 2 problems with one stone if i can just try to make him like me or see if he likes me even a little bit already.

[devonbrown]

If you have a dad issue as you are saying, you need to seek some professional assistance. Those kind of interactions are not healthy and should not be taken lightly. Deal with that before you worry about any potential boyfriends.

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

yeah i expected somebody to tell me to see a psych but id hate that crap...i dont want some guy/chick in an armchair tryin to pry open my mind when maybe i can just fix it myself you know?
id kill myself if they put me in a nutter house.

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

+&BTW none of the stuff goin on between me & my dad was of a sexual nature. i posted another thread on that so i wont get into that. i have a little crush problem with him but its completely one sided. just so ya know...

[MerryH]

Hi Sound. I remember your other thread. Welcome back.

yeah i expected somebody to tell me to see a psych but id hate that crap...i dont want some guy/chick in an armchair tryin to pry open my mind when maybe i can just fix it myself you know?

You should consider it. You make it sound bad when you say they might try to "pry open" your mind, but it's not really like that. They're just someone you can talk to who is trained to help you out with things you struggle with. I know you feel that your relationship with your father isn't that serious, but it has caused you some feelings of concern and confusion recently, so it's practical to assume those feelings could grow as you mature into adulthood. Wouldn't you want to take care of this issue before it becomes bigger?

As for the guy - chat him up on Facebook? You can easily arrange a meet-up with him that way, right?

[Gratedwasabi]

+&BTW none of the stuff goin on between me & my dad was of a sexual nature. i posted another thread on that so i wont get into that. i have a little crush problem with him but its completely one sided. just so ya know...

Well, it may or may not be of a sexual nature but it's NOT of a proper nature between parent and child. I think you and your father need to go in together and talk to someone about it. It's not healthy for either of you and no, you can't fix it for yourself. It'd be like if you gashed yourself; maybe you can slow the bleeding with a cloth but you can't stitch yourself up and make it better and it WILL leave a scar if you don't get it stitched. It's not about right or wrong, it's about being emotionally healthy.

Besides that, a guy and his friends situation is not really all that similar to a girl and her friends situation. We have different rules and such about it. Even if his friends dislike you, it has very little impact on what he does. Also, if you start dating his friends are supposed to behave themselves while you're together; ie be decent to you, not trash talk you, etc. Granted, these are teenagers so they might not have gotten the memo on this yet but from what I recall, I gave even less of a damn about my guy friend's opinions on chicks as a teenager. DO try to be on good terms with any female friends, though, as they hold more sway.

If you make any effort to approach HIM, he'll appreciate it. It's rare that girls approach us. Shy and bumbling or not, it'll make a good impression.