shes more mature, more successful, more wealthy-- will it work?

[eljusticiero67]

i met this great girl in my grad program who is 2 years older than me. things have been going pretty fast and were getting really into each other. we are very different in a lot of ways. i suppose i am much less professional than her and am generally more of a partier, a person who likes to enjoy life moment to moment. she is more mature than me in this respect. i think she has her shit figured out, while i kinda expect things to be figured out eventually.

but what scares me is that shes a doctor and will make a LOT more money than me. she doesnt seem to mind in some respects. but i am worried that in the long-term, the salary discrepency will eventually become an issue. shes only ever dated other doctors who made similar salary. specifically, i think shell be making on the order of around 300K and Id be making 60K if im lucky.

is this doomed to fail? can we really be so into each other and let something like this get in the way? i dont want to think so. but i feel like it could.... i dont know....

[vashti]

If she's still in grad school, it will be a while before she makes $300,000. In fact, I don't know many young doctors who make that kind of money besides surgeons.

She is probably going to eventually become more annoyed by your lack of maturity than your lack of income, but for now, she is probably just wanting to have a break from her difficult field. Doctors tend to not be the most exciting people to be around, and you may just represent a break from the seriousness of her profession.

[smackie9]

Agreed with the other poster. You are just a diversion. You are young, stop thinking so far into the future. Just enjoy getting laid.

[eljusticiero67]

welllll.... she is already hinting at wanting to marry. and i also want to marry sooner rather than later. i actually dont think my immaturity is much of an issue. it tends to manifest itself in inconsequential ways, (i would say at least, but who knows).

actually, she wont be making so much until 3 yrs from now (doing a cardiology fellowship-- after which shell be making 300k).

so lets just forget about WHETHER she would want to marry, and just assume that she does. would a relationship like that work? with that kind of salary discrepancy?

[damn2010]

It can work, if she is the type of woman to look beyond the money issue. You need to pay attention to her attitude, any comments, and her actions to see whether she is one of those materialistic and money girls.

If you have serious talks later on about your future, you might want to gently bring up the salary difference, but if she likes you for YOU then she can look by that.

Like the other posters said, your maturity will be the TOP issue, and the salary could be depending on HOW you spend the money you will be making. If it's on booze and partying, then she'll be out the door.

[xxazurexx]

If you were a guy that had a job and earned his own money, then we would get along. It wouldn't matter if I earned more than you, as long as you were making your own and didn't become dependant on me.

I wouldn't mind helping out and supporting you if you were between jobs - but if I sensed you were or had become a scrounger, you'd be gone.

You'd also have to grow up fast....I can't stand immature guys, where I'm feeling like his 'mom'.

[Sammy01]

Stop focusing on the money. If you already think it's gonna be a problem, then it will be. Seems like you need to answer the question yourself. Do you think YOU can handle it if/when she makes more money then you?? She probably won't care, as long as you don't take advantage of her income, as azurexx said.

[Boisdevie]

1. I would worry about this talk about marriage when you are both so young. Been watching too many Disney films? You know the kind of happily ever after type? Live together for at least a year.
2. Money. Should not be an issue unless you're sexist and feel of less value because you earn less. That's crap. My ex wife earned a shitload more than me and I wasn't bothered by that. And before anyone asks that's not the reason why she's my ex wife

[eljusticiero67]

thanks guys. i actually dont find it to be a problem really on a theoretical level. i guess i just feel self-conscious about it, as i dont want her to think shed be supporting me or anything. i guess i should just let it go though.