How can I get my girlfriend out of her shell?

[cruisectrl]

I've been seeing a girl for almost two months now. I really like her and so far it seems like this is something I want to take further. However, she is really shy and I always find myself initiating everything. We've made out a few times and we've even slept together a few times (not sex, just cuddling) but she still doesn't like talking about anything relationship related and I always find myself pulling her closer to me when we're watching movies on the couch or whatever, because she's too shy to move herself closer. She's not a shy person around people or anything, just when it comes to relationshipy stuff.

Any advice?

[smackie9]

Sounds like she is very inexperienced and maybe she isn't quite sure what to do or how to respond. These things do take time, so you are going to have to be patient and let her get comfortable with you. It sounds to me she's not ready for the type of relationship you are expecting. Maybe it's time to talk to her about it. I really can only guess.

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps you don't make her feel horny? Or perhaps she's frigid?

[vashti]

In fact some girls are ignorant and innocent about such things and it is not unnatural and I too had the same experience. All you must do is take different measures and mechanisms. You will have to get her to the world of sex, romance. You can watch porn movies with her and that will help her understand how women too can take initiatives. Once she understands this reality she will uncontrollably wild and horny. every woman and man has a desire for it and the problem with some is they always lag when it comes to sex though inside they are so much horny.

Haha! I'd love to know who taught you about sex and women.

[MerryH]

How do you know she's too shy? Maybe she just doesn't like you that much and you're pushing yourself on her.

[RockNRoll]

I agree, she could be unexperienced. Or she is not sure what she wants. Two months is not that long, you are still getting to know each other.
Don't move it forward physically any further, let her get comfortable with what you are doing at the moment. When you cuddle her, tell her how much you are enjoying it, etc. Encourage her to hold you hand or hug you sometimes. Give it some time. And focus on establishing emotional connection.
The most important thing is to make sure that she is interested in you.

[cruisectrl]

I think she is inexperienced. She is Asian and comes from a very conservative Chinese family, and not to be racist, but I think as a result of being from a family as conservative as her own, she might be less experienced. She's only 20, and she went to a private school and she's not aloud having boys in her house. @RockNRoll, as for all the aforementioned, I am already doing all that, and I think it is working to some avail. I will continue to do so.

[Keri.Michelle]

I am like your girlfriend and shy in relationships. I think the main reason is that girls are terrified of being rejected and overanalyze things. It probably does have to do with inexperience, but could also be that she doesn't want to do something wrong or she thinks too much about it and talks herself out of it.

[Gratedwasabi]

I think she is inexperienced. She is Asian and comes from a very conservative Chinese family, and not to be racist, but I think as a result of being from a family as conservative as her own, she might be less experienced. She's only 20, and she went to a private school and she's not aloud having boys in her house. @RockNRoll, as for all the aforementioned, I am already doing all that, and I think it is working to some avail. I will continue to do so.

I like when people mention someone's cultural upbringing and add a disclaimer for not being racist. PC has gotten outta control.

From people I've known, and a friend of mine is a native Korean who has only been here a few years, the upbringing of Eastern Asian (specifically China, Japan, and Korea) is very much more of a demure attitude for women. Very proper, stressing etiquette, often "shy", etc. It's very often a man takes control sort of attitude, especially if she was raised seeing that from her mother and father.

Just be patient and don't be pushy. You probably need to initiate contact and just play off her body language/reaction as to how to proceed.

[Boisdevie]

She's 20 and inexperienced? I'd say you'll have to really work on your masturbation technique cos that's all you're gonna get. By the age of 20 I'd suspect most people have already had sex. Good luck cos you're gonna need it.

[smackie9]

I think she is inexperienced. She is Asian and comes from a very conservative Chinese family, and not to be racist, but I think as a result of being from a family as conservative as her own, she might be less experienced. She's only 20, and she went to a private school and she's not aloud having boys in her house. @RockNRoll, as for all the aforementioned, I am already doing all that, and I think it is working to some avail. I will continue to do so.

Why wasn't this mentioned before? Guess what ....she has parents that expect her to stay a virgin till she is married. It's not shyness, it's the guilt laid down by her parents. I doubt you will be able to get into her pants.