One emotional rollercoaster..

[Kberg57]

Hello everyone,

This would be my first post on this website. I thought it would be easier to get someone else's opinions/advice that have gone through something like I have. So here it goes..

My ex and I were together for almost 4 years. We jumped into everything fast; the relationship, falling in love, moving in together etc. We were a normal couple with our ups and downs, but starting in January 2010, was when things started going down hill. I had quit my job (one of the worst mistakes I have ever made, and I do take full responsiblity), and that caused both of us to be under alot of stress because he was the one who had to take over all the bills because I couldn't find another job. And it brought out the worst in eachother. We said things and did things that were uncool... and then one thing led to another and we broke up, and I moved back in with my mom.

For the past 4 months, he has kept me around, and trying to make things work with us again. And throughout this time, he had pursued three other girls, which broke my heart. Even if we were not officially together. But the thing I am actually posting about is for what has happened in the past week... Sunday night, we had an amazing date night and we were getting back to our old ways. The next day, I was invited to go to my friends co-workers Christmas party, at the last minute. I went, and got drunk, played beer pong and all that. The next day, my friend posted a picture of me, drunk, bending down to pick up the beer pong ball right by some guy that was there at the party. My ex, took the picture the wrong way and said that I was being a *hore and hanging on a bunch of guys being drunk, which led to him accusing me of hooking up with guys there. Which is not true. I would never do that to him. But he didn't trust anything that I said. It killed me! For the one person, that I love and care about, could not trust me.. especially after almost 4 years! He kept accusing me of lying and that I should just come out clean, and said that over and over. I did everything I could to prove that I was truthful, but he wasn't having it. I don't understand what is wrong with him.. I just need some advice on what I should say, do or anything! I'm confused.. hurt.. and disappointed.

[BeingAlpha]

He doesn't actually believe you are flirting with other guys -- he is formulating it in his mind so that he can feel less guilty about ending the relationship. You said that he in fact pursued 3 other girls --- doesn't that seem a little hypocritical? He gets to do whatever he wants and IF you go after another guy (even though we know you didn't) its not appropriate? YOU GUYS ARE NOT TOGETHER ...If he didn't want you to do those things he would be with you..."if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it" comes to mind.

Anyhow -- hes trying to make you out to be the bad guy in all of this...this is what she did to me. As for the picture - we have no idea how suggestive the picture is but playing beer pong is just a game. Don't you want to be with someone who is mature enough to accept your words as truth. Give him time to cool off - at least a week before you talk to him again. Tell him that what you told him is/was the truth and that you have nothing to hide or be ashamed about. In the future - don't let people tag stupid pictures of you.. I say this now and forever: NOTHING GOOD COMES OF FACEBOOK

[Kberg57]

Thank you both for your input! Especially since you both are guys!

[ccjc]

In the future - don't let people tag stupid pictures of you.. I say this now and forever: NOTHING GOOD COMES OF FACEBOOK

Oh and dont forget about profile pictures too!
Thats how I found out that my gf cheated on me! T_T

Kberg57, I'm in a similar situation to you. Right now my gf is overseas and I knew her ex was over there too as well. Within just the beginning of this week, about 2 days ago, I found out through his facebook that they're in a relationship together. It was clear that she accepted the status because her profile picture was clearly there. Then she blocked off her wall posts and I knew that I was being blocked off from her world.

Its never fair for someone who you lived and has been apart of your life to have labelled you as a liar. I wouldn't have approached it like that, being the guy that I am, I would have given her the chance to explain it herself and make it clear where we both stand in our relationship. What comes and goes after that, shouldnt be my concern; if thats the path she chose with me being by her side as the partner, and let him make personal attacks to you which is untrue and just labelling you out of anger.

Anger, has no place in any relationship. Having the perspective, does.

If you guys have broken up, then he basically doesnt have the rights to talk to you as if you guys havent.

Walk away and give him time; if you care that much for him.

[breakupguy]

Did you do some things in the past that would cause him to question your honesty?

Perhaps he's so sensitive to you trying to get with someone else since he knows he's tried to get with 3 other people.

Has he told you that he wants to get back together? If you've told the truth, there's unfortunately not much else you can do regarding the beer pong situation. That's the harsh reality of that situation.