Are there other girls like her..?

[CardioEngr08]

Hello Everyone,
My first post on this site so I would gladly appreciate any helpful replies.
Here's my story:
I knew this girl since freshman year in high school. She was pretty but not once did I have a real conversation with her. Then in senior year, we talked and right away I knew I liked her. And it wasn't mainly due to her beauty that drawed me to her, it was the personality she had. There were other pretty girls in my high school but unfortunately they did not have personalities that matched my taste. Throughout senior year we talk almost everyday and then we end going to the same college.

In college we get even more close. We hang out all the time, study together, etc. We are in our second year of college now.
And basically now I have really fallen in love with her and I wish I could be with her. I'm the kind of guy who looks for a committed relationship and not just to have fun or for the sake of just going out. I got to know her really well and I think she's perfect. We are best friends now but I wish we could go further than that. The problem is she's hispanic and I'm asain. Plus, we come from different religious families. So it's not going to work out..

Now when this usually happens, people tend to let go of the person they like and take some time off.
My problem is I think too highly of her and I just can't seem to be interested in other girls. And, she's my best friend.. I can't say goodbye to her forever. When college semester starts I practically see her and we hang out 2 - 3 times a week.
But, she is just a really awesome and every new girl I meet does not match her traits. Basically she has molded pretty much what I look for in a girl.

So now I'm having a very difficult time thinking there is a girl out there like her or similar to her or as great as her. because I need to move on since her and I cannot be.. I have never met a girl like her. All the other girls I've met seemed boring, slutty, or simply not interesting. Basically, I'm having
a tough time believing there are other fish in the sea as great as her... Any comments will be helpful. Thanks.

[smackie9]

Well for one thing you are not in a relationship with her. Second she hasn't made any kind of move to show she wants more than friendship, so I feel you are looking way to far into this before anything has happen, but that's an if it happens. You are in a crush situation here, and you are probably in the friends zone. If you see no future with her and if this would destroy your relationship with your family, you should just try to get past this and spend less time together. You have been forcing the blinders on, and have only focused on her for way too long. You can break out of this. Never say there's no ones else. You seriously haven't given it a chance because of fear of losing your friend. You have to get over that hurdle.

Now you have two options here. Risk it all and tell her you wish to have more than a friendship with her...this could result in losing her btw. Or you can give yourself some space to venture out and date some girls.

[CardioEngr08]

Thanks for your reply. It wasn't harsh, it was constructive advice.
I have told her a while back. And in the beginning we really were just friends but my feelings got deeper as time went by. And although we do not have an official relationship, she does want to be with me too because she knows me really well and she says im the guy for her... But, she is much stronger than I am, she is more independent. She knows we can never be together because of our religious backgrounds and we do not want to hurt our families. So she basically doesn't think about it and controls herself.. She has the mindset which I don't and basically which I need to stop thinking about life with her.. But, I just couldn't control my feelings because she's the first girl I ever got this close to and first girl who has shown me a lot of love, care, etc. So naturally, I wanted to be with her and kept thinking about her.

I have a hard time in venturing out.. to actually date. Since, I am in college I meet a lot of new people every semester and through clubs, meetings, classes, maybe I will find a girl. But, it hasn't happened yet.. I haven't been remotely impressed or interested in a girl another girl. I don't know if this is because I am in love with her or maybe I am being narrow-minded...

[blent]

sounds like bs to me. you're just too afraid to ask another girl out because you think you've already got this girl in the bag

[CardioEngr08]

Actually yes, if we were from the same culture and religion then this wouldn't be a problem. But that is not the case here...

[ccjc]

I'd definitely suggest you to meet other people. Its hard, I know.

I mean, how will we ever meet great/good people when we cant venture out. The best of a kind, won't just walk up to you.

The magic, wont happen right away and its clear you're still attached. At least you two are still on good terms and that's important. Who knows, she might introduce to one of her friends who is asian or of similar background to you and your family backgrounds

Keep things in perspective. If it was meant to happen, it would have already happened. If not, try to manage it.
Important thing is, stay positive. Without being positive or trying to look out for yourself, positively, you wont ever "see" the opportunities that could be right in front of you.

Best of luck CardioEngr08

[breakupguy]

Have you had a conversation with her about being in a relationship? has she shown any interest in wanting to be in a relationship with you?