Should I Ask My Ex..

[Christopherj84]

Here's my story.

I met my ex in Janruary 2007 where we had connected straight away. We lived far apart so we could only see each other on weekends at the expense of my credit/debit card (I had more money).

As time went by and after several weekends, I decided to move up to her where I got a flat and she moved in.

Nearing the end of 2007, we broke up due to an argument, and she had gotten pregnant, which was not planned and she wanted to move away, which I followed. We agreed to give our relationship another go once we had settled in our new house.

Our relationship was going great until the summer of 2009 where we had drifted apart due to my unemployment. She has now moved back to where we had gotten a flat, living with her parents.

Last summer (2010), my ex had gotten back in contact with her ex (before me), which she has a past with and she was planning on getting back with him, but due to something he had said, she's no longer speaking to him.

Last Monday, My ex and my daughter came over to spend new years with me, and they will be leaving next Tuesday.

During the course of their stay, my ex and I have gotten close. We've been acting like couple and family. But when I asked her if this thing between us is just for the time she's down, she replied saying that she thinks that's best because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship that we have. She had also said that who knows what will happen in the future.

After that conversation, we have continued to carry on the way we were, like a couple.

She wants to concentrate on bringing up our daughter and I think she's afraid that we may not work again.

I think we both genuinely love each other, and I also think that this time it will work as I won't be sitting at home all day as I'm now back in employment.

The reason why I've written my story on here is before she goes back to her parents, I was going to ask if she wants to give our relationship another go, but tak it slow, and I wanted some advice on whether I should do this or if this will spoil any feelings we have left.

[MerryH]

Uh, go ahead and ask her, I guess. But you sort of already did ask her and she said she didn't want to "ruin the friendship," which is almost always a nicer way of saying, "no, I do not want you and it actually has nothing to do with 'friendship.'" Also, I don't think you being employed will somehow fix all the problems you guys had. Why would being unemployed alone ruin a perfectly good relationship? You surely had other problems that you're just not recognizing. So yeah, ask her, but don't be surprised if she says no, and move along quickly if that's the outcome.

[smackie9]

If you see yourself maybe marrying her, then invest in going to couples counseling.

[SelflessnHumble]

Here's my story.

I met my ex in Janruary 2007 where we had connected straight away. We lived far apart so we could only see each other on weekends at the expense of my credit/debit card (I had more money).

As time went by and after several weekends, I decided to move up to her where I got a flat and she moved in.

Nearing the end of 2007, we broke up due to an argument, and she had gotten pregnant, which was not planned and she wanted to move away, which I followed. We agreed to give our relationship another go once we had settled in our new house.

Our relationship was going great until the summer of 2009 where we had drifted apart due to my unemployment. She has now moved back to where we had gotten a flat, living with her parents.

Last summer (2010), my ex had gotten back in contact with her ex (before me), which she has a past with and she was planning on getting back with him, but due to something he had said, she's no longer speaking to him.

Last Monday, My ex and my daughter came over to spend new years with me, and they will be leaving next Tuesday.

During the course of their stay, my ex and I have gotten close. We've been acting like couple and family. But when I asked her if this thing between us is just for the time she's down, she replied saying that she thinks that's best because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship that we have. She had also said that who knows what will happen in the future.

After that conversation, we have continued to carry on the way we were, like a couple.

She wants to concentrate on bringing up our daughter and I think she's afraid that we may not work again.

I think we both genuinely love each other, and I also think that this time it will work as I won't be sitting at home all day as I'm now back in employment.

The reason why I've written my story on here is before she goes back to her parents, I was going to ask if she wants to give our relationship another go, but tak it slow, and I wanted some advice on whether I should do this or if this will spoil any feelings we have left.

You don't need a title like "giving our relationship another go" because it is already so.
Don't label it and love her: the mother of your child...

You both:
Have a required duty to put both of your grievances aside and to put the needs and priorities of your daughter at #1.

You need to learn how to treat a woman with respect, honor and give her affirmation.
You need to understand a woman is emotional based so "the feeling" means more to her than you.
Yes in a way it is a sort of double standard but this is how they are made: estrogen.
Men aren't so they tend to be pragmatic and logical thinkers and use reasoning.

HOWEVER when you argue with her: you are in fact letting our emotions control you and are no better.
Stop having an ego: take control of your emotions and curb them.
You do NOT want to have that little girl grow up in this world without both mother and father.
She needs all the love and nurturing both parents are able to provide.
Your wants and needs (just as your woman's) both went out the window the second SHE was born.

Don't ruin her by putting your superficial and unimportant arguments in the way and ahead of your own daughter.
IN fact this is what fuels a woman's emotions.