Tricky

[mrjohn]

I've knew this girl for years now and recently I've become really good friends with her. She has a boyfriend but seems to spend a lot of time with me (cinema, walks etc) and sends me texts permanently! which must be quite strange for him, but I think he's scared of losing her. Even though im pretty sure she is into me and have been told by others who suspect it also I fear making a mistake and losing a good friend, as there is still the doubt of her boyfriend. I've tried subtly flirting but am not too good at it :S

any input or advice?

[stormtroopa]

WAIT!
Don't rush into anything. Just keep it up, hang out with her, respond to all her texts or whatever. If she really is into you, she'll break up with the boyfriend. You really can't ask her out if she's taken or you'd be crossing a line.
Really, just be patient and give it time. She's in a relationship, so it's her move not yours. I'm sure she isn't waiting for you to make a move or anything.

[DavidDeAnge]

As I said in the other thread and as stormtroopa is saying dont rush anything she still have feelings for her boyfriend just keep yourself in the friendzone. Until you know she wants the next step just hang out with her, do things you like and be friends and dont take big risks because if the fact she is in a relationship.

Her move and respect that even thought if it turns out in a different way of what you thought.

[mrjohn]

Thanks peep! ^^ everyone else I have asked so far however seems to think telling her will be the only way forward as she may be unsure and stick with the "comfortable" boyfriend...

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps try to be less available in the future - might make her think a bit about what she wants. Perhaps her boyfriend gives her the passion she wants and you give her the attention she wants?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't just sit there and wait. If you really think she's into you, then you should tell her how you feel and that you don't want to see her as just a friend anymore. Start by stating that you two have a lot in common(be specific) and get along great, and you've developed stronger feelings than just friendship and you want to date her. If she says no, tell her it's best for you if you two don't talk anymore, but you'll be there if she changes her mind.

You're not her friend, so stop pretending you're scared of losing the friendship...you're scared of rejection(we all are). Be straightforward and the guesswork will be eliminated.

[devonbrown]

1) Saying something to her would risk the friendship. So if you don't mind risking that, then tell her how you feel. Even if she is not into you, it could hurt the friendship.

2) If you think she would stick with her boyfriend because it is comfortable, is that really the type of person you would be interested in being in a relationship with?

3) Chances are she has developed the friendship with you, and it has grown a lot, due to something missing with her boyfriend. In a way, you are fulfilling an emotional side of her relationship while the boyfriend gets the benefits of it.

I would just ask her what her boyfriend thinks about her texting you a lot. Mention it as a way to make sure she is okay and that you don't want to cause any trouble. The conversation will probably lead you to find out more about her intentions.

Good luck.