My husband and I have a pretty good relationship, or so I thought. We have a lot in common, spend time together and generally agree with one another on major decisions, but recently we have been fighting over money constantly. I'm beginning to wonder whether he shares the same values I do with regards to finances.
He seems to take the opinion of "everything will work itself out, no matter what we do, since it always has before". I was raised to be very frugal and budget conscious and have always been this way. He is not a spendthrift, but he isn't as careful with money as I am. I have learned to accept this somewhat, but it still causes problems.
For example, we have been talking about getting a new computer with our tax return money. Doing some preliminary calculations, there might not much, if any, money left over once we do our tax returns. I mentioned this to him and he was upset that now we may not be able to afford the new computer for several more months. I am not willing to go into debt to buy an expensive computer that he wants for playing video games. I have suggested buying a video game system and just keeping our old, but very serviceable computer. He doesn't want to do that, so we're back to square one. The minimum for a gaming computer that meets system requirements for the games he likes is about $800. We've so far got about $350 saved up, which would actually be enough to get a Wii or XBox 360 and some games. I feel like pounding my head against a wall.
Then, he found out my parents were going on vacation and taking my sister. He actually was ticked off that I'm taking care of her cat because "didn't she just go on a vacation" (yes, about 6 months ago...and so did we!!! My mom took care of our cats, so I figure it's only fair. Well, he's irritated because I said that this year, it seems like we're going to be able to afford a computer or a vacation, not both. I don't want to go into debt for either.
I feel like I'm always the bad guy in this. I try to work on creative solutions, but we still have arguments and disagreements. I'm about ready to just give up, do things "his way" and make him clean up his own mess. We are in no way rich, but we've been able to live pretty comfortably because I've managed to be budget conscious and pay things off in a timely manner.
I've tried to get my husband more involved in our finances in the past, and he doesn't really seem to show an interest. We have a house payment, car payment and student loan payment (for his schooling) and these all come first before computers and vacations. To top it off, he has some medical bills that will be coming soon that may total around $1000 when all is said and done. This is stretching our budget to the limit and all the juggling of funds is starting to stress me out. We still have some savings, and I want to keep it that way.
Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!