The guy I love doesn't know what love is.

[foreverxlove]

SKIM IT OR READ ALL I broke it up into parts so it's easier on the eyes(hopefully). Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Okay, so, over 5 years ago, I met the guy of my dreams. He was absolutely my type in every possible way. At first, we were friends but after several weeks, we went out.

PART 1-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He said he would always love me and that I meant the world to him.
We were both in our teens at the time, but I know what I felt was love because I had a few boyfriends before him.
I was his first girlfriend.

• So, months went by and we would talk nearly every single day with an occasional missed day in which he'd miss me LOTS.
  Then, one day, he went off for 2 days to his Grandparents. Please note: he did NOT find anyone there. Trust me. When he came back,
  his first sentence was, "I'm so sorry, but I think I'm gone." When I asked what he meant, he told me all emotion was drained from
  him and he didn't feel like himself anymore. I asked if he at least felt for me and he told me he didn't feel anything so he couldn't feel
  for me. I cried-hard. I wanted to die. I tried many months to get him back, but he never came back to me. He wouldn't treat me the
  same and he stopped talking to some of his friends too. He was very cold..he wasn't the comfortable person I
  was used to.
  
  
  
• 4 years went by and he still wasn't dating anyone, but we talked on and off maybe once every other month.
  At that time, while on aim, he randomly asked if I liked him as more than a friend. I said yes. He said, "I knew it".
  I then said why? He said "no reason" So then, I lied and said.. but It's more of a friendship love I think..its just
  strong. He said okay and left it alone.

PART 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Later, he finally met another girl. She liked him first, though. See, with him and I, he came onto me first
  and told me he wanted to be with me..With this girl, she came onto him and told him she wanted to date
  him and so, a few weeks later, they were dating.
  
• I was happy for him..extremely happy. I love seeing him happy, but I knew it wouldn't last because he
  didn't treat her like he had treated me years back. He didn't even say I love you nearly as much as he did to me.
  
• So now, about 4 months into their relationship, he tells me "I have to tell you something that scares me."and
  I said, "what, what is it?" he said, "I'm crushing on you terribly and I don't think that's a good thing considering
  you have a boyfriend"
  
• But I asked.."what about your girlfriend?" he said I'm scared for that too, but it's worse for you. I don't
  want to interfere with you and your boyfriend. I told him to rethink what hes saying. I then asked how long he
  felt this way, "he said uhh not too long, but I feel it'll last a bit more.." So I told him to just do whatever makes
  him happy.
  
• 2 months later she broke up with him and stopped talking to him and told him she never wanted to talk to
  him again. He was hurt but he told me he was dealing with it.. That was easy?

PART 3 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Now..3 months AFTER his break up with her, we talked at least once or twice a week, but I told him
  I couldn't talk to him anymore because he would ignore my calls and texts sometimes and in person, he
  sometimes just didn't say much at all..he let me talk more..
  
• And so I said, I think I'm gonna remove you from my life and he said, "I'm sorry you feel this way. I would
  prefer if you didn't, but if it makes you happy, It is a good reason to do so." I felt numb..If he truly liked me
  and wanted to continue at least being my friend, why would he just let me go that easily????
  
• Then, I said, "I'm gonna try but it'll be hard. I like you a lot and will miss you lots" and he said the same.
  I then said bye but then said I couldn't hang up the phone and said I was lame and being weak for not being
  able to shut someone that hurts me by ignoring me out of my life.
  
• He told me it was okay and I'm not lame and that I'm a wonderful and beautiful person and one of the best
  he ever met. Then we talked more.. I talked about how I feel he doesn't care about me anymore and he
  said, "you're cared about more than you know" Then I said I want to die..(other things in my life too) i
  have nothing going on.im not worth it" then he said,"you're more worth it than you know hun and you
  have me and the rest of your friends. they wouldn't want to lose you sweetie."
  I then said, "you have no idea what i think about (him). my brain isn't right, i think about things that i shouldn't.
  things that hurt me." I was about to type the words I love you but..then..

PART 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Then..he said, "remember what i'd give you sometimes?"
  i said no..and then, he said "a kiss but i have no idea why i just asked that"
  then i said..do you like me? he said, "im so sorry, but yes."
  i asked why he was sorry and he told me someone else hates him for liking them and that liking me isn't
  a good thing because he said, " i hurt you".
  i asked if he liked more than 1 person right now and he said "just two"
  i asked who, he told me his ex but he said, "no use in that as she'll never talk to me again and hasnt
  in months" I asked how long he felt this way and he said "a really long time and i dont see the feeling
  going away for a long, long time"
  I then asked, is this random? he said "no"
  i asked, how often do you think about kissing me or me in general and gave him 2 options
  "once a month or once a week" and his reply was "several times a week if not, more"
  so i told him i liked him. i finally did it. FINALLY after years.. But see, I
  never stopped loving him..I'm with my boyfriend right now, but I don't love him..I know it because for the
  past 4-5 years, all I thought about was my ex and how much i love him. i never wanted to keep loving him
  and i tried so hard but it never stopped.
  
  
  
• but later on.. we got in on it and i asked "did you ever "love" me?" he said "i wish so much that i could
  answer that, you have no idea, but i can't say" - why?? then i asked, "do you know what love is??" he
  responded "i don't know, im sorry."
  so i said, "could you ever love someone..?" and he said "i'd like to but don't know if i understand what love is"

DOES THAT MEAN HE DOESN'T WANT TO LOVE ME? Why would he tell me he doesn't know what love is? I said
"I LOVED YOU back then" and he just said "I'm glad."


Please help. I have always loved him. You don't have to read it all, really. Just skim it. Thanks for the support.
Also, he's 21, I'm 22 and today he kissed me on the cheek while I was talking to him and then gave me a hug and told me it would all be okay...

[FullofSighs]

We'll i'm 19 about to turn 20, In my experience i've never been able to love anyone cause ive never known what its like to be loved, from my parents, friends, other family, etc. Never have felt. And with that i find it very difficult to love someone without knowing what it feels like to be loved. To me you have to feel loved to know how to give it. So maybe there is something deeper going on in his heart, maybe from his childhood that is making it hard for him to fall in love. And it's not his fault, sound like he's trying his hardest and does want to be with you, just can't now cause in a sense he has to find himself and how to love. I would say the more you love him, and show your love for him, he will come to be able to love you back instead of it being a one sided thing. But it will take a great deal of time, up to you whether to stick with it.

P.s. this is from my experience of going through that myself, i don't exactly know the guy so if im wrong, im sorry

[foreverxlove]

It makes sense, thanks. He actually comes from divorced parents who separated when he was young. His family isn't really together much either. Thanks for your input and I will show him how much he's loved and see if he comes through.