Do men hurt as much as women after a breakup?

[sweetkissesforu]

Edit:
We had 3 conversations after the breakup:
1: I want my shit. Angry. I spilled stuff on his DVDs out of anger because I thought (and still do) think he cheated on me.
2: I'm sorry. I forgive you. I want you to be happy.
3: I want my ****ing closure. You were so rude and inconsiderate how you broke up with me and it's sad you think we can still be friends after the way you ended things. You can go and **** yourself yada yada yada "Have a nice life."

And then I never contacted him since. When looked me in the face in class during a final, I ignored him and just smiled and looked happy. That type of thing... And that was the last time I saw him, had any contact with him.
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I don't know. That's why I'm asking you guys. lol

I think we're both happy to be out of the relationship. But I do feel, in my gut, he will regret the fact the he took advantage of my patience with him and that it will come around to bite him in the ass when he realizes just how faithful and committed I was to him. (Which I was probably shouldn't have been, but I take this relationship as a learning experience. Whereas he probably looks at it more as a failed relationship.)

I think you also should look at how you are reacting to things not mature destroying his dvds and if he is as short fused and verbally abusive as you said maybe neither one is ready for a mature relationship

[Avg.]

I think you also should look at how you are reacting to things not mature destroying his dvds and if he is as short fused and verbally abusive as you said maybe neither one is ready for a mature relationship

I thought it through. I know what I did was immature. But to be frank, that was one of the only times I really spoke up throughout the entire relationship. I feel like I put my foot down for the first time with that experience. I don't regret it one bit. His DVDs still work, so I'm fine with what I did.
The only time I ever yelled at him was in the last conversation and it shut him up. Because I yelled at him with the same veracity he was yelling at me with. It was kind of a wake up call. I never stood my ground and I finally did. He was very abusive and insecure and I stand by those words 100%.

[xxazurexx]

Again, I don't think that is gender related in any way. Reading these forums, women do that kind of crap a lot. Hooking up with a new partner right after break up is usually worse for the new partner than the ex though.

I've seen it happen way more with men.

When women break up with guys, we deal with it and by talking to our girl friends. Talking helps us to deal with the breakup.

Men however have no one to talk too and they rarely discuss problems with their friends. Hence they may deal with the aftermath and by rushing in with a new woman...which they think helps them get over the past relationship.

I like what chica said, in that this guy has 'can't do without a gf for 2 seconds' syndrome and that men can act in immature ways after a breakup. They deal with it in the only way they know how too. Of course, it's the wrong way to deal with it and because another person is only a temporary band aid to their problems.

[Yet another guy]

I agree that men can't talk about their relationship with other men. At least I can't.

Maybe you have seen it happen because your female friends come to you to talk about what their ex did, while the men keep it to themselves.

If that really is the case, it might be because of women prefer jerks. Denial and anger are exactly the sort of thing that people full of themselves would feel when they get hurt.

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I agree that men can't talk about their relationship with other men. At least I can't.

Maybe you have seen it happen because your female friends come to you to talk about what their ex did, while the men keep it to themselves.

If that really is the case, it might be because of women prefer jerks. Denial and anger are exactly the sort of thing that people full of themselves would feel when they get hurt.

Yeah. It really seems that way.

And he was never the 'jerk'. He's actually overweight, charming and seemed like the nicest guy on the planet. No offense, but it definitely surprised most people that I would end up choosing him.

Essentially, the good guy finished first in this scenario.

And I guess. He tried to be nice about the break up but I wasn't having it since I knew his ass lied to me about talking to his ex. Even moreso, that he most likely ****ed her.

[Yet another guy]

I just wanted to add that denial and anger are considered normal stages of grieving. But I think that they are much more pronounced in overconfident people. People with low self esteem accept the pain faster because they are used to it and expect it.

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That's definitely true. A male's insight is really interesting, I swear.

[smackie9]

When guys get dumped they go out and have sex to redeem their manhood. And it's true, it depends on how much they were in love that sometimes can lead to obsessive behaviour like stalking. But women are just as guilty will poor behaviour after a break up.

[red_sparrow]

my bf has a short fuse too and if it gets any shorter, i'm out.

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my bf has a short fuse too and if it gets any shorter, i'm out.

One thing I've learned- get out before he does. Don't be left feeling heartbroken like me. And if you know your self-worth, you'd know you don't deserve any of his bullshit.

Confident and secure women know they deserve better.

No need to contemplate- just do! You will be better off without him. If no one is benefiting in this relationship, GET OUT! There is life past a breakup. And don't take his ass back. You can and will do better. Not that you need it, right? ;]

[red_sparrow]

I've seen it happen way more with men.

When women break up with guys, we deal with it and by talking to our girl friends. Talking helps us to deal with the breakup.

Men however have no one to talk too and they rarely discuss problems with their friends. Hence they may deal with the aftermath and by rushing in with a new woman...which they think helps them get over the past relationship.

I like what chica said, in that this guy has 'can't do without a gf for 2 seconds' syndrome and that men can act in immature ways after a breakup. They deal with it in the only way they know how too. Of course, it's the wrong way to deal with it and because another person is only a temporary band aid to their problems.

this is true.
women generally have an easier time getting over emotional trauma. this is why substance abuse is so much more common with men. lack of support systems and the pressure to be 'manly' and not show feelings leaves them feeling isolated and alone. so girls.. don't despair if you feel like your periods are giving you trouble you could be in for a lot worse..

on that note, most men resort to methods that are only temporary band-aids. this is mainly because they haven't been conditioned to talk about their feelings. feeligns are 'bad.' feelings are impractical. although women tend to sometimes put TOO much emphasis on feelings, putting not enough emphasis on them is harmful in its own right. if a guy (white guys are more prone to this) is taught to be masculine all of the time, he will continue to do so. i'm having this problem with my BF. he always wants to look tough and manly.

the only problem is that both men AND women are human beings, and as a result both have the same amount of feeling. my BF has often told me he's very sensitive, and has more feelings than he lets on. but when i ask about it he withdraws. i told him that he should never be afraid to reveal his deepest secrets to me =[ i will never see him as 'un-manly' .. but unfortunately many guys will see something wrong with being 'unmanly'. sorry, i just ranted.

[red_sparrow]

One thing I've learned- get out before he does. Don't be left feeling heartbroken like me. And if you know your self-worth, you'd know you don't deserve any of his bullshit.

Confident and secure women know they deserve better.

No need to contemplate- just do! You will be better off without him. If no one is benefiting in this relationship, GET OUT! There is life past a breakup. And don't take his ass back. You can and will do better. Not that you need it, right? ;]

thats pretty intense. i wouldnt say his problem is so bad that its destroying the relationship. he needs to learn how to let me make him happy though =[ hes always saying i make him happy, but yet hes still so angry at all of these other things.

im done with him. youre right.

[HeartIsAching]

Being testicle-less, heartless, soulless emotional leeches, women hurt far less than men after a breakup.

Ok seriously now... that was a stupid question. Next!

[red_sparrow]

Being testicle-less, heartless, soulless emotional leeches, women hurt far less than men after a breakup.

Ok seriously now... that was a stupid question. Next!

lets leave it at: regardless of gender, it depends on the person and the level of emotional investment in the partner. I've known both cases -- one in which my best friend was nearly having panic attacks because her BF broke up with her (she begged him to get back together) and another in which this was the guy. it is, of course, much more embarssing on the woman's part when she's been hurt and comes crawling back for more..

[big]

no guys don't hurt as much.