Should I be critical???

[ammi00]

As a woman, at this point, I couldn't be with a man I wouldn't find attractive. Of course, the "spiritual/ emotional" side is more important, especially in the long run - but I couldn't be with someone I wouldn't physically like. That's an insult.
I think you should talk to her about this...

[vashti]

According to a quick look on the net 31 percent of americans are obese compared to 17 percent obese for UK males and 21 percent for UK women. Quite a difference then. [url=http://www.annecollins.com/obesity/uk-obesity-statistics.htm]Obesity Statistics UK[/url]
[url=http://www.annecollins.com/weight_health/obesity-rate.htm]Obesity Rate in USA[/url]

It's not 17% in the UK. It's 23%, which is the third fattest in the world.

[url=http://www.diet-blog.com/07/a_picture_of_obesity_around_the_world.php]A Picture of Obesity Around the World[/url]
[url=http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_obe-health-obesity]Obesity statistics - countries compared - NationMaster[/url]

[vertical_sky]

There are a couple of things that bothered me about the original poster that I think you overlooked. One of the reasons posters might have been tearing into him is because he started dating a heavier woman and lost physical attraction to her even though she didn’t change. What you’re comparing is actually two different issues. Posters (or at the very least, myself) were bothered by the fact that he dated someone already knowing what they looked like, but somehow expected them to change.

Now as far as your girlfriend goes… when you say she’s “gained weight,” what does that mean? Does that mean a few pounds, or has she gone from a size 6 pants to a size 12? How old is she? Have there been any other changes in her life; a new job? Did you two recently move in together? Has she stopped doing other activities besides just the physical ones that she previously enjoyed?

Your girlfriend’s problem might not be her weight but her emotional health. She may be depressed, which can result in a loss of interest in activities that helped keep her healthy. She may be eating as a form of stress management or emotional release. She may have taken on a new job that means she doesn’t get to move as much, or takes up more of her free time, or doesn’t pay as well so she can’t afford a gym membership or to go to the climbing wall once a week? Is she responsible for most of the households chores on a weekly basis (whether she lives with you or not)? What are the circumstances surrounding her life that may be contributing to her weight gain?

Or, this all might be a moot point, because there’s a difference between reality and your perspective. You might THINK she’s gained all this weight, when in fact it’s a mere 5 to 10 pounds, which is pretty normal, especially as age and gravity start to catch up.

I think you need to stop examining your girlfriend and take a good, hard look at your own examination of the situation. Is it biased? Is it even accurate? How accurate is it? If it is accurate, is this a deal breaker?
The fact is, losing weight is difficult. It’s nowhere near as easy as “Exercise more than you eat, you get skinny!” Age, body shape, different metabolisms and genetic factors, lifestyle… it all plays a part in the complicated question of weight gain. Good scientific studies on what contributes to weight gain are rare, and the medical community has yet to find a long term cure to “obesity.” The best you can hope for is to exercise and be healthy, and MAYBE in process you’ll look better.

I am a wonderful example of this. I’ve been working out 3-4 times a week for a month now, doing cardio and weight lifting for about an hour and a half each time. I know that SOMETHING is happening, because at my 1 month evaluation I was able to lift the same weight for more reps than previously, and I’d gone from 29% body fat to 27%. However, I hadn’t lost even a single pound, and the only physical change was losing ONE INCH over my entire body.

And guess where that inch was? My bust line. So if your girlfriend has a nice rack, you can pretty much say goodbye to it if she starts hard core working out, as that is the first place women lost weight, and the last place they gain it.

The point is, weight is a very complicated topic. Yeah, maybe your girlfriend could do with some therapy/exercise. But the real problem here is you. You girlfriend might just stay the way she is (even if she exercises, she might stay the same weight/body type she is; it’s a lot harder to LOSE than it is to gain by far) and YOU need to decide if you can accept that and accommodate, or if you’re going to toss the relationship and start fresh in the dating world.

If you do toss it, don’t expect many women to feel sorry for you. With most females, weight is a VERY touchy subject, especially as nature seemed to design us counter to what society says is attractive. Women are SUPPOSED to retain fat and roundness, biologically; perhaps not at the rate we are currently, but certainly not the other extreme of rock-hard abs and toned thighs. Hormones and pregnancy play jump-rope with women’s expectations of what we should look like and feel about our bodies for years. Add birth control on top of that, which changes a woman’s menstruation cycle and can result in some pretty drastic alterations in sexual desire and weight, and it’s a hornet’s nest of issues.

[HeartIsAching]

Can we all make sweeeping judgements? OK, chances are since you're american you're probably fat or obese.

For some of us fat - yuk.

Heh... sweeping judgements, FTW!

I'm probably carrying 20 lbs. I shouldn't... but I'm very fit. I don't drive, I bicycle everywhere. Put about 3,000 miles on my bike last year.

[small banana]

dont just be critical be hypercritical

[HeartIsAching]

According to a quick look on the net 31 percent of americans are obese compared to 17 percent obese for UK males and 21 percent for UK women. Quite a difference then. [url=http://www.annecollins.com/obesity/uk-obesity-statistics.htm]Obesity Statistics UK[/url]
[url=http://www.annecollins.com/weight_health/obesity-rate.htm]Obesity Rate in USA[/url]

That's also using the BMI calculations which are horrible. Upon graduation from Basic Training at 17 years old, my BMI was right at the top of the "normal weight" range for BMI. Ludicrously so - I was very fit and carrying no excess fat then.