So confused

[beach22]

I am writing this just to get some honest opinions. Please feel free to be as honest as you want. So here goes....My boyfriend and I dated for 2yrs and I can honestly say I was in love with him. He and I broke up about a year ago, I ended the relationship. He made me promise that I would tell him if I hooked up with someone else while were broken up, and I did. I did and realized that being broken up was not what I wanted at all so I decided to hold true to my promise tell him I hooked up with someone else but it made me realize how much I wanted to be with him. Terrible mistake, he was in shock and was extremely upset, and then began publicly hooking up wit a girl at his college. We still remained "friends" flirting sometimes via facebook and occasionally in person. Never though did we ever have any sexual contact. Numerous times when he was drunk he would hint at being upset with me for breaking up with but it never got discussed further. Until the last day of summer he and I hung out and he acted as if we were dating flirting, trying to come in the shower with me, etc. This continued when we went away to school always commenting on my facebook or extending our txt conversations. So a couple day ago at my friends 21st birthday we hooked up. for the first time in over a year since our break up. He sadly left for vacation the next morning. My best friend asked him his thought on us hooking up again he replied with comments like "I will always have feeling for her no matter what" and "She and I are good friends". He also revealed that he was talking to another girl at school and was planning on dating her in the future. This upset me a little bcs I felt like I had been used my ex. I confronted him about and found at that he and the girl were no longer talking bcs she was going back to her ex. In our conversation he said once again "I love being friends with you". but the confusion came when he randomly txt me saying..."the girl i was talking to complimented you" she said " idk how ***** put up with, I understand now why you said she was that only girl that could handle you".....I dont understand what hes trying to do, does he truely just want to be friends or does he just not know what he wants?

[HeartIsAching]

1. You broke up him.
2. You slept with somebody else.
3. He was upset about this.

ergo - he cared about you. Maybe even loved you, and you hurt him.

Many people believe that being hurt by somebody necessitates a response; either an equal response, or an escalation. Given that he started "publicly hooking up wit a girl at his college." whatever the hell that means, I'm guessing he's an escalation kind of guy. Since that didn't wound you deeply enough, he has now figured a better way of doing it. Trust me, whether or not he loved you once, he doesn't anymore. Don't walk, run.

[beach22]

Thank You so much I had been thinking some of the same thing but thought I was over analyzing. Youre saying that he his doing all of this to hurt me aka give me a taste of my own medicine? What would you suggest I do when he speaks to me again, not respond? Also too a pathetic as it seems I do still want to be with him, I do still love him.

[HeartIsAching]

I'd suggest asking him what he wants.

[beach22]

When I confronted him about feeling used, he did say he " I love being friends with you". Which is fine Im totally ok with being friends Id rather that than not speak. But I am now finding out that he lied when he said he was no longer with the other girl, he in fact is still. Why lie to me? especially if we are supposed to be friends. Also too why say things to me like "just wanted to make sure other guys weren't touching you", when talking about the bar I went to the other night.

[HeartIsAching]

So, he wants to treat you as a possession. Not uncommon. Abusive, but not uncommon.

[girl68]

He made me promise that I would tell him if I hooked up with someone else while were broken up, and I did.

This was the single stupidest thing you could have done. He needs to know what penis is going inside you? Friends don't do that- you never were really friends.