Devastated.

[MadMardegan]

Sorry to hear that man.

You seem like a really cool guy, some of the stuff you come out with around here has me in stitches a lot of the time.

Her loss.

[Gratedwasabi]

Sorry to hear that man.

You seem like a really cool guy, some of the stuff you come out with around here has me in stitches a lot of the time.

Her loss.

Thanks for the responses everyone. It's not like we were even really at a boyfriend/girlfriend stage yet, so I'll live. Maybe I liked the idea of her (sarcastic, passionate about what she does, nice) then the reality.

Also, kind of phrasing it that way.. maybe that was the problem. She saw us approaching that stage and wasn't feeling like that was right, so instead of just slowing down and continuing this she felt like breaking it off.

Meh. Relationships are lousy.

[Gratedwasabi]

Women don't say the real reasons they don't want to date guys because it just seems cruel without purpose. I mean, my reasons may sound petty or just plain mean, they may hurt even worse than the nondescript pretend reason we make up. It really is intended as a kindness. I mean, I have decided not to continue dating a guy because he was kind of a loser with no purpose in life. Another was whiny and clingy. One was dumb as a rock. There is no nice way to be honest, there. Nor would there be if there's some other guy we just like more.

I understand this but I honestly would have preferred the truth. It gives perspective and would have allowed me to evaluate things a bit better. But then again, I've given generic responses when I've broken up before, too, to spare feelings.

I guess my main problem or what really made this worse was that she invited me out to her friends the other day and either had a really good time or is fantastic at faking it. It seems really bizarre to go from that to the next thing she says is "sorry, bye."

Maybe it was another guy. She's pretty obsessed with her school/work so if there was someone she liked who was in that field, I can probably buy that she'd go for him over me.

[xxazurexx]

Women don't say the real reasons they don't want to date guys because it just seems cruel without purpose. I mean, my reasons may sound petty or just plain mean, they may hurt even worse than the nondescript pretend reason we make up. It really is intended as a kindness. I mean, I have decided not to continue dating a guy because he was kind of a loser with no purpose in life. Another was whiny and clingy. One was dumb as a rock. There is no nice way to be honest, there. Nor would there be if there's some other guy we just like more.

Because another possibility is that she was dating someone casually who wasn't ready to be exclusive and he decided that was what he wanted after all and she would rather pursue that further-along relationship than what she had with you. That might also explain the lack of sex. I personally won't have sex unless I can date someone exclusively. She might find you hotter than the other guy, even, but just be more invested in him because she met him a month earlier and has a longer history with him. Or just knows she would always wonder if she didn't pursue it.

People can dump for what seems like silly reasons, but for reasons that matter to them.

My sister was recently seeing a guy and they went out a few times, things were going good. Anyway, she was telling me that he took her for a meal one night and he was the sloppiest eater she'd ever witnessed. It put her off from seeing him again and she'd ended it. Told him that she didn't think it was working.

Poor guy was probably really confused too and because she never told him the real reason why she ended it. Imagine how it would have sounded and if she'd had to tell him the truth as to why.

[MadMardegan]

Thanks for the responses everyone. It's not like we were even really at a boyfriend/girlfriend stage yet, so I'll live. Maybe I liked the idea of her (sarcastic, passionate about what she does, nice) then the reality.

Also, kind of phrasing it that way.. maybe that was the problem. She saw us approaching that stage and wasn't feeling like that was right, so instead of just slowing down and continuing this she felt like breaking it off.

Meh. Relationships are lousy.

Suppose, at the end of the day you can only put into it what you get out of it.

Just be thankful she was straight with you and didn't go down the road of keeping you on the long finger. That's a much worse feeling, in my opinion.

[Gratedwasabi]

Suppose, at the end of the day you can only put into it what you get out of it.

Just be thankful she was straight with you and didn't go down the road of keeping you on the long finger. That's a much worse feeling, in my opinion.

I guess. I'm thinking she must have already had some idea, though, with the way she acted towards intimacy.

And I really appreciate her letting me pick up her and her friends tabs the other night and then her breaking up with me. It's groovy paying for way overpriced beers for someone about to tell you to get lost.

Two months.. wasted.

[MadMardegan]

I guess. I'm thinking she must have already had some idea, though, with the way she acted towards intimacy.

And I really appreciate her letting me pick up her and her friends tabs the other night and then her breaking up with me. It's groovy paying for way overpriced beers for someone about to tell you to get lost.

Two months.. wasted.

I don't really know any of the back story, to be honest, but from what I've skimmed across in this thread she was holding out on sex or am I misinterpreting something?

There's a million and one reasons why she might have done what she did, don't dwell on it.

You seem like the kinda guy to get right back on the horse....I say; Hi-Yo Silver, Away!!

[xxazurexx]

^Yeah. If I was about to end it with a guy, I'd pay for myself.....the greedy bitch.

So you were seeing her for 2 months? That's quite a while and for her to have decided, no connection.

I normally know and if there is no connection, after the first 2 or 3 dates.

[vashti]

It's not wasted time if you feel like you can learn a little something from the experience.

Still it sucks. I'm sorry. You seem like a really nice guy to me, too. And I don't mean that in the spineless, wimpy, pathetic way.

[Gratedwasabi]

I don't really know any of the back story, to be honest, but from what I've skimmed across in this thread she was holding out on sex or am I misinterpreting something?

There's a million and one reasons why she might have done what she did, don't dwell on it.

You seem like the kinda guy to get right back on the horse....I say; Hi-Yo Silver, Away!!

She was holding out on pretty much all intimacy, as in 20 seconds of kissing was about the best I got. Then she was a bit more touchy feely after spontaneously inviting me out with her friends, the next contact being this. I was letting things go really slow because of her reaction to intimacy attempts, which makes it not so shocking there wasn't a growing "connection" there for her.

Her exact words were something like "connection isn't growing" or something. And 2 months, 6 dates.. although 2 of those were very short because she was fitting me in around other stuff.

[MadMardegan]

She was holding out on pretty much all intimacy, as in 20 seconds of kissing was about the best I got. Then she was a bit more touchy feely after spontaneously inviting me out with her friends, the next contact being this. I was letting things go really slow because of her reaction to intimacy attempts, which makes it not so shocking there wasn't a growing "connection" there for her.

Her exact words were something like "connection isn't growing" or something. And 2 months, 6 dates.. although 2 of those were very short because she was fitting me in around other stuff.

Maybe it was due to a busy schedule she had and maybe things weren't moving as fast as she would've liked.
Doesn't explain breaking everything off though :S

@Vashti, nice doesn't have to mean "spineless, wimpy, pathetic". I don't like the fact that it's become an umbrella term for those things. People hear "nice guy" and that's automatically what pops into their head. I'm a nice guy, but I'm none of those things.

[vashti]

@Vashti, nice doesn't have to mean "spineless, wimpy, pathetic". I don't like the fact that it's become an umbrella term for those things. People hear "nice guy" and that's automatically what pops into their head. I'm a nice guy, but I'm none of those things.

I will give you the benefit of doubt, and assume you just didn't read my post thoroughly.

[MadMardegan]

I will give you the benefit of doubt, and assume you just didn't read my post thoroughly.

Oh, I did. I'm just saying "You seem like a really nice guy to me, too. And I don't mean that in the spineless, wimpy, pathetic way" would imply that you think "nice guys" are those things.

I'm not trying to get into a debate and I don't want to hijack GW thread, just thought I'd add my two cents on that.

[vashti]

Oh, I did. I'm just saying "You seem like a really nice guy to me, too. And I don't mean that in the spineless, wimpy, pathetic way" would imply that you think "nice guys" are those things. .

No it doesn't. It implies there is more than one way to define "nice guy".

[misombra]

charge it to experience and lessons learned wasabi.

i have a song for you hold on...