Abstinence or premarital sex?

[xxazurexx]

LOL^^

I'm just pleased that my 16 year old daughter has the common sense and to place boys and sex on the backburner and committs herself to schoolwork and studying for important exams coming up in the next few months that are relevant to her future.

Wise girl to make such choices and with no pressure from me

[SelflessnHumble]

hi 18 year old college freshman here.. met an amazing girl, been dating for 4 months and we started talking about sex. I told her I expect to get to that stage one day and she said okay. Then she opened up a little as I encourage her to do so because communication is top of the list for a good relationship and she told me she didn't want sex till after marriage. Yes I am her first boyfriend and yes she is 18... and yes she is a shy girl.

I mean.. I'm on the fence on this one, to me it means this girl is serious, conservative, and very moral in character, but on the other hand... I want sex.. not now.. but eventually, I see sex as a stage a serious relationship reaches and needs to reach because of sexual compatibility... i don't want to get married and find out that sex with her won't work... I'm sorta worried.. but I don't want to convince her to have sex with me one day.. but what are your guy's insight on this?

As it is currently: you two are not a match and you two don't unconditionally love each other (sorry to tell you) See, when you unconditionally love someone you love them for who they are inside and out. You appreciate what they can do, and what they don't choose to do because in the end you respect their wishes. People have faith, belief systems and religion as cornerstones to their moral character (which is perfectly fine) and her right to exercise...

However it doesn't mean you have to like it. It also means that:
She shouldn't have to ditch her life long servitude to her ideals/commitment to having a fruitful relationship with you just because you want her to trash her beliefs based on YOUR selfish views. Equality. Learn what it means and practice it. Integrate it into your life. if not, cool. The she isn't the one for you.

This isn't insight: this is fact.
I used to view everything as right and wrong: whereby I was always right, and everyone else was inherently wrong. (especially women in particular)

Once you realize how predisposed you are to striking down your own version of judgment AND how you
want her to hold your views higher than her own: you begin to see the truth...

The truth is: marriage is a view held by many...interpreted differently by EVERYONE.
Her wants and needs are perfectly sound. Only a selfish person would introduce
"a compromise" as some sort of mechanism to break her commitment to God/her beliefs.

Tax benefits, tax credits, adding the state as a 3rd party, (which is true) arranged by parents,
and what may be her version: the ultimate expression of the unity between two people who truly
unconditionally love each other...

It sounds all but obvious to me you've already had sex for the wrong reasons and wish to impose
your beliefs onto hers. -Not cool- If she is a resolute and devout _______
she will dump you for her beliefs period.

If you manipulate her, pout incessantly until you get your way: she will lose respect for you
that will never be regained and she may come to find that the grass isn't so green.
Don't rob her if her wishes due to your own selfishness and uncontrollable urges.
She is better than that and she deserves a supportive man, not a thief.

In the end she believes that giving up the most precious thing/gift she could ever give another man
IS priceless and should be reserved only when two people become united as one in God's house...

Either respect it OR meet a girl who is like you: uses sex as a requisite for a relationship that may or may not last.

[xxazurexx]

I have two daughers and the eldest first had sex when she was 16. She takes birth control very seriously. She was with the same BF for 4 years. Guys might have tried to force themselves on her but she can take of herself. It's her body and her decision, nothing to do with me

Shame you didn't share the same respect for women in general, as you do for your daughter.

You are often seen and in these forums, encouraging women to shag a man and 1 second after meeting him and bullying and calling women names and if they don't put out immediatley, because a man wants sex...

Yet here you are now saying....it's her body, her decision.

BIG HYPOCRIT!

[doppelgaenger]

well, i already know who's getting the verbose award this year.

[KingZ]

Emotionless sex is masturbation.

As it is currently: blah blah blah, a bunch of sh​it nobody cares about

You, sir:

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumstantiality[/url]

Check yourself for schizophrenia.

[NewToLove]

@selflessnhumble

I'm appreciative that you shared what you think, but I'm not going to appreciate your accusations. Look here man, I never said I was right, there IS no right or wrong in this world, there's FEELING right or wrong. First off, every time she says no when I advance myself upon her, she says "no" and I back off in an instant and it doesn't follow up with a petty persuasion. To be honest, as soon as I hear "no", it's an automatic turn off for me, I don't even want to continue. She wants to save herself for marriage and god damn, i respect that to the fullest, but as of now, all we can do is make out, and frankly, I don't think making out is going to last very long, there's a point where I want to try new things with physical intimacy. As for sex, I DON'T EVEN HAVE OWN A CONDOM MEANING I'M NOT EVEN EXPECTING SEX FOR AWHILE.

Here's my progress report over the last 4 months since day one, and note, for every advancement, it includes the previous advancements.

1) Holding Hands/hugs
2) Officially dating
3) Kisses to the forehead
4) Kisses to the cheek
5) Kisses to the neck area
6) Finally got that first kiss
7) Making out
8) French Kissing
9) I finally grabbed her ass
10) I touched her everywhere EXCLUDING her private areas including breasts.
11) Grinding on each other.
12) I grabbed her breasts

then.... she told me she doesn't want to grind anymore because she wants to wait for sex after marriage and she feels like she's cheating herself by grinding. =(

SO NOW I'M BACK TO JUST MAKING OUT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURTS WHEN YOU HAVE TO MOVE BACK THAT MANY STEPS, IT FELT LIKE SHE WAS DISTANCING HERSELF FROM ME.

For me, emotional chemistry and physical chemistry should grow together to form a balance, now i feel out of balance.