should i keep trying to get my ex back?

[doops93]

Hi.
Well, my ex boyfriend and I had a relationship for 1 year and a half. we're both 18. different schools. and he broke up with me like 5 months ago because he wasnt feeling the same for me because we were fighting a lot. But that day was like pretty confusing because in the morning he was saying that he was lucky to have me in his life. that he was so happy we made it this far and that he loved me. but then at night he started getting kind of weird and he threw that big bomb at me. Anyways since then I tried to give him some space. and then we talked in person and he said he wanted to feel the same as before but that it wasnt fair to me if he kept being with me while he was feeling like that. two weeks later i tried talking to him again but he kept his position. so i deleted him from everywhere to start moving on.

anyways.. like 2 months ago my best friend had a crushed on me and he asked me out and stuff and i tried to open myself but i couldnt. i was still stuck on my ex. when my ex found out that i went out with him he was really jealous and he even talked to me and he was trying to get me some information about my status and stuff. after that he added me on fb, and bbm. and we started talking for a while.. our conversations werent friend like. they were flirty and obviously i started getting my hopes up. but suddenly he stopped talking to me. my friend talked to him because he was putting status on twitter and facebook that related to me and she wanted to know if he was playing or if he was thinking on getting back together. he said that destiny is about chance. and that who knows maybe it could happen. but that right now he wanted to be alone.. - he's not looking for any other girls or anything - that there could be an exception but that right now he was just chillin.. she told him that he couldnt be like that because that messages get to me, and doesnt let me like keep moving on. and he was like i cant tell her what to do or think.. and she was like ok then.

my friends are telling me that i should move on. but i still really hope he's gonna come back because for me its just a phase when he wants to go out with his friends without the pressure of a relationship.. but i think underneath it all he still cares.. because if it wasnt like that he wouldnt be jealous or started talking to me or adding me everywhere.. I've changed a lot. this months have helped me to grow as a person. and everyone has noticed my changed and are telling me that I'm taking things more relaxed, managing my anger - i used to explode - and being more pacient.. - a prove is that i've been waiting here for him for 5 months - and i really think it could work out..

so tell me please what do you think and what should i do?

[smackie9]

Your friends know you better than we do. They are right, move on.

[Wizard]

Okay, first off, you really need to sloooowww down a little bit. Think about things more clearly. He probably cares about you, but he may not care about you the way you want him too. Just because he's curious about your status and gets a little jealous doesn't always mean he wants you back. It's natural for him to be slightly jealous of who you talk to, even thought he's not interested in you anymore. It's a territorial thing. He probably is looking at other girls as possible options as well and is'nt sure who he wants to be with, but you can't force anyone to feel something for you, even if he felt something for you at first. I say your best bet is to don't think about him at all and focus on yourself first. In love, timing is everything. The time just may not be right for you and him, but it may be right for you and someone else. He probably doesn't hate you but he doesn't seem in love with you either. Slow down, worry about yourself first and don't rush things the next time around.

[doops93]

the thing is everytime i try and start forgetting about him he suddenly appears.
ex. just yesterday he talked to me. he got a new bb and he was like " you know .. you're special.. you're one of the first ones i add on my list.." and i took it as a joke and was like " you're special, i accepted you.." and then we kept on talking til 3am or so for some reason he told me that he was at a retreat and i asked him which activities did he made and he told me there was a "thanks" one and i told him lol you probably gave thanks for having me in your life. and he was like. i gave thanks for everything i ever had, for everything i have and will have. i asked him how does he gave thanks for something he will have if he doesnt know what will come. and he told me that destiny was written that it just had different ways to get to the end -that kind of shocked me a little bit. cuz it seemed so damn forward to me.. and lately his best friend has been asking me about him and if im thinking of him still.. if im interested on other guys.. my friends told me maybe is him trying to know about me..

[smackie9]

If he wanted you back he would have done it by now. I have a feeling he's hasn't been too sucessful at meeting someone new, and now he sees you doing better, and out dating again that it has put him in a sore spot. But hey instead of sitting listening to us guess, why not just be forward yourself and ask him if he wants to try again.

[doops93]

the other day his best friend told me that he was saying that like his heart said yes, but his friends, head and pride said no.. and maybe he's just like on the line.. like something's holding him back. and i wanted to know what things i can do to make him cross it. what i've been doing since now its like not talking to him and ignoring him when i have the chance. when he talked to me yesterday i was being nice. but the one putting conversation and stuff was him.. what do you think?

about asking him forward.. i think i've done a lot .. and i would like that he's the one that puts the theme on the table, not me.

[xxazurexx]

He's just keeping you hanging on in there and 'in case'.

In case nothing better comes along.

If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have to question his heart or his head - he'd know it was what he wanted.

Tell him to get stuffed and go date other guys.

[doops93]

he's not looking for any other girl. he hasnt been with another one, or likes another one, no one night stands or anything..he told me that he almost kissed a girl but that he couldnt because of me..

[RockNRoll]

It's better to trust a guy if he tells that it's not fair to you to stay in a relationship with him.
If he want you back, he should prove that he's worth it. But he is not that bothered. You shouldn't be bothered either.
Move on, delete him from everywhere again if it's what it takes.

[Wizard]

Hmmm...I can see why he is confusing you. It's not fair to you for him to be toying with you like this. If you are forward with him and he is not making himself crystal clear, then he is not clear himself. Draw back, let him keep making the first move, but don't act too quickly...make him work for it. Take your time, don't act to eager with him. Take back control if you really want him, and be excrutiatingly patient. But in the meantime, find things to do to keep your mind off of him. Seriously...and if in time he comes running then good. If he fades away, it won't be so hard on you if you've got other things to occupy yourself. Does that make sense?

HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST...

[doops93]

so you think i should just keep it normal and let him being the one who tries?
he told me he's leaving tomorrow to madrid for a model of the united nations thingy. and i was thinking maybe i could talk to him - on bbm, nothing too personal- and wish him a safe trip or so .. do you think that will be ok? or should i just do nothing?