Inside the mind of a 19 year old

[burtontj88]

Just got out of the military going to school now. A girl from one of my classes last semester and I started talking since class starting up again last week. She's been a huge flirt throughout the week, calling, texting hard. She proclaimed the 'first date' (thurs), 'second date' (fri) that led back to my place having sex and her telling me it's been the best she'd had in a while.

After that she's backed off, turning the other cheek. Had class today, had lunch, talked, told her I hope she wasn't ignoring me thinking I'd want a relationship out of this. She seemed relieved, it was exactly what she was doing; her friends had told her she leads guys on, which she does a great job in a naive manner.

Not a big deal to me, but what's the best way to take advantage of this situation. She was all over me and now could not give a sh*t. Go on pretending it never happened and eventually she'll want to hook up again? propose some sort of casual friends with benefits relationship? or seem clingy and ask her to hang out friday night and see where it goes from there (personally I would not want to do)?

Breaking one of my rules here and 'liking' her. I'm up for just being friends, bulls**ting, and yeah hooking up every once in a while but I don't want a girlfriend nor want to give off like I want one. She's in the same boat and wants to stay single, bad experience with attached guys.

So she's either tried it out and moving on, f**k being friends; or at her age has not been around too much although I don't question how many she's had sex with. Thoughts?

[burtontj88]

bump for any ideas?

[ashley89]

if you don't care too much about being friends with benefits then I'd say give it a try. you both wanna be single, so this way you can hook up but still be able to go around and do as you please. if you kinda like her a little though, hooking up with her might make your feelings get stronger, so I'd be careful. talk to her about it, see what she thinks

[burtontj88]

I am more than comfortable bring it up and talking about it. I don't think she's mature enough to., it's like she's playing High School games or something.

I had written a considerate reply and realized it was going to be quite long. But said to myself what the f**k am I doing, letting this chick get on my mind like this. Forgetting who I am and sweating over this too hard. Just gonna stay busy, do what I do, and she will be reaching out to me if she wants to get laid.

As far as my plans with any communication with her, it will be null. In class, be myself, make her laugh, and let her make moves.

Any guys reading this, sometimes that's all you gotta do. Stop and realize when your head is messing with you letting a girl #1 driving you crazy.

[ashley89]

good! you have a good attitude about things. don't get too hung up over it, if she contacts you she does, if you hook up you do, it's whatever happens. that's the way to be

[burtontj88]

One thing I've never done is the texting game, especially at her elementary level. I'm a pretty blunt guy, no beating around the bush so I never wasted time with that.

Ultimately the only text I will respond to in a timely manner is "lets go watch a movie at your place." I know I've got my head straight now but also don't want to be shallow because I'm being played off. So continue responding to casual texts from her? Keep them short/one lined?

[ashley89]

yeah i'd keep the texts casual for now, if she wants to hang out and you're up for it then go ahead, but keep doing what you're doing and don't let her mess with your head!

[smackie9]

She's just doing it for the thrill of the catch. Once she got to the end (sex) the thrill is over. She's just going to move on to the next dude. FWB is OK BUT I sense that your feelings will develop towards her and you will get messed over it because she won't recipocate.

[Edboy]

She's just doing it for the thrill of the catch. Once she got to the end (sex) the thrill is over. She's just going to move on to the next dude. FWB is OK BUT I sense that your feelings will develop towards her and you will get messed over it because she won't recipocate.

i totally agree, same thing has happened to me in the past. Best advice i would give is enjoy a few weeks or so of sex with her then drop it. Its seriously not worth the hassle with women/men like that. in a casual relationship, someone always ends up developing feelings for the other person.

[burtontj88]

Sounds about right, appreciate the $0.02.