Differing Paths

[basketball85]

I have been dating my girlfriend for around four years now. She is an amazing girl and really has all the qualities I look for in a girl. I really love her and definitely can see myself marrying her. Here is where my problem arises. She has recently began her career and she is working at a job which she really enjoys. I on the other hand am in med school and as you can imagine, that takes up a ton of my time. So as it is, we do not get that many opportunities to see each other. The real problem arises in the fact that I would really enjoy doing study abroad programs, internships, and volunteering in other states and countries. Also, once I graduate from med school, I want to move to a different state and practice medicine. I have always wanted to move and everyone has always told me that if you do not do it when your young you will not do it later. When approaching my girlfriend about this, she stated that she would really like to stay where she currently is because she is doing her dream job. Thus, I feel stuck on this issue because I feel that if I don't adventure and experience new things, I never will and I will always regret it for the rest of my life. However, I also really love my girlfriend and would like to make her happy so I just feel stuck in the middle between myself and her.

I feel bad because literally everything else is perfect right now except the issue of location. I just feel that we are at different points in our lifes. She is already starting to work and I am in the middle of school, trying to experience different things. We don't get to spend alot of time as it is right now and I know thats rough for a girl because they always like to go out and do stuff. But I will always say Oh I can spend more time with you in the summer but now I am interested in doing out of state internships and study abroad programs and I just feel that she will be hurt because I am basically spending no time with her but still holding her out as my girlfriend.

So basically, I was just wondering if anybody could give me some advice on what they would do in my situation. And the really hard thing is that every time I talk to her about this, she just starts crying and is like then "just end it now" and it just does not get any where. Also, I am in the middle of school right now just literally do not have time to do that right now.

[smackie9]

You have to tell her that you don't want to end it, that you are concerned about how she feels about all this. Many couples do stick it out when a career takes up their time. Not all people going through med school are single. Some are married with kids or having a baby. It's about sacrifice for sure. Tell her you are in this for the long haul if she's will do do the same. You might change your mind where your internship is or she could find a even better job opportunity down the road in the area where you are working. It's not the end of the world if you both are willing to compromise. This is what it's like when you get married. You have to work together as a team, make sacrifices, respect, compromise, care and share. Yes it's true marriage is no picnic, so this is where you will be put to the test.....can you make it.