Can't move on

[brocc]

Hi guys I'm new here and I just kinda wanted some advice. As the title says I'm having a really hard time moving on after a long relationship with a girl I know I truly loved.

After dating her for two and a half years I really started to think I was going to spend the rest of my life with this gir. We were honestly both in love with each otherl. Then, last summer, things started getting bad. Out of nowhere she said she wanted to take some time off from our relationship because she said it was taking a toll on her emotionally and she just wanted to "be free". Needless to say I was pretty upset because I had no idea where this was coming from. It was the first time in two and a half years she had ever even thought about not being with me. However, I respected her wishes trusting that it would be alright because she assured me that she still loved me. And we still talked everyday during this period.

Anyways a few weeks later she calls me up and says she needs to talk to me. I go over to her place and she is visibly upset. She goes on to tell me that last night she was out with her friends and they got pretty wasted and she ended up sleeping with some guy we had both known for a while. She said she felt really bad about it and even though it really upset me I did my best to hide how upset I was. She also goes on to tell me that the day after we stopped being together she also hooked up with another guy. Well, this made me upset but with her being so emotional I just buried my emotions and tried to comfort her. I guess she was emotional because she did this and she still loves me? I ended up calming her down and we talked it over for a while, I told her it made me really upset but that I still loved her. We ended up getting imtimate and we had the most amazing sex like we always used to.

So things went good for a few weeks (I don't even know if we were back together or what during that time though), then things got bad again. As we both work pretty much all day during the week and go to school in the evening I rarely got to see her. Mostly just on the weekends. Well once school started I rarely even saw her on the weekends anymore. After a few weeks one of her friends told me that she was driving 120 miles round trip every weekend to go spend the weekend with one of the guys she had previously hooked up with over the summer. This made me upset. From that point I pretty much didn't want to deal with her anymore. I started seeing other girls, and once she found out about this she got upset. I told her that I didn't want to just keep getting played anymore. She seemed truly sorry and was crying her eyes out when I told her that I wanted us to be done forever.

I think about that night every night before I go to sleep. This girl was really the only girl I have ever loved with everything I have. Things were great when they were good, but they were terrible when they were bad. If I could go back sometimes I think I would do something differently. I miss her so much but at this point I really just need to move on, but I don't know how.

I gotten with a few girls since then cause my buddies said it would help. But once I've slept with them and go back to my normal life I always just think about her. I've picked up a bunch of new hobbies such as going to the gym a lot more often.
Nothing seems to help take my mind off of her and its been like four months.
Sorry this is so long.

[confused_guy_b]

Um, you are right. This girl is either confused or trying to play you. No matter what this isn't a healthy relationship for you so you must do what you must do. I think somewhere along those lines you put it in her head that it's okay to cheat on me and that isn't good for you either. Your first love is always so confusing, down the line you will wonder to yourself if it was really love. Stick to your guns and try to overcome this...

I know it's hard letting go but just keep on the dating scene, there are plenty of women out there and surely there is quite a few that will connect better with you then this woman.

Remember to always use your heart and come to your own conclusions or you will regret life forever.
Best of wishes! ~Brian~