Reposting this here because there are more viewers.

[curly1118]

NOTE: I did post this in another section to get some advice from men but I decided I should post here too as I am still unsure. I thought I made up my mind. But I think I need some more feedback... Forgive me for double post. If this is unreasonable feel free to delete.


Alright.

So basically I have known this girl since I was like a year old. She is my uncle's wife's sister, so we are COMPLETELY unrelated by blood.

I don't really know how to explain this or to even have you guys take me seriously. But I have had feelings for this person now for maybe just the past few years or so. I always shrugged it off as no big deal and nothing will develop so I shouldn't think about it too much. And I never really did until now.

But last year, December 24 2010. So like a month ago or so. Her and I were talking quite a bit at a family Christmas gathering. Her boyfriend was there and he was kinda acting like a douche, as per usual. So I think she felt like she should talk and interact with me and others to get her mind off of him. I am 21 and she is 22. Having a general good time just chatting it up. We get along extremely well, having known each other for such a long time. Now, I never ever dance at my family's christmas parties, they're all from el salvador and chile so they all like dancing just for fun and whatnot. But I never really take part in that, just don't feel comfortable dancing. I can do it but I would rather not so I usually just sit on the couch and interact with other people.

But this year was different. She pulled me up from off the couch and wanted me to dance. Now, I wouldn't normally feel weird about a harmless dance, but... She wanted me to hold her really close, she moved in close to me and I'd never really had that with her before. I know dancing is close generally but this was different. She wanted to hold my hand and put my other hand on the small of her back. After the song ended she put her arms around me and gave me a hug. But not like a normal hug you would expect from family. A close, warm hug. I don't know if that makes sense. It felt really nice though. I've been broken up with my girlfriend of a year for some time now and it felt good to have someone interact with me like that again.

This year, she even bought me a present, and asked that I add her on facebook so we could keep in touch and talk more.

So, I don't know if I am reading too much into this. She was definitely being flirtatious and whatnot with me and when I left to go home she gave me another big hug reminding me to look her up on facebook.

But yeah. I don't know if my feelings are right or wrong. I am attracted to her but I don't know what I should do. I won't make any moves on her as she has a boyfriend. From what I been hearing she may want out of that relationship. I haven't added her on facebook either because I'm struggling with this in my head. I mean, what if something did happen? What if she wanted to hang out or spend some time together with just her and I and one thing led to another? I don't think my family would have issues with her and I dating or anything.

I mean, we aren't related by blood... I don't look at her as a cousin or anything like that. More of a good friend I see every now and then. I'm just really confused...

What do you guys think I should do?

I think the more obvious thing I could do would be to straight up talk to her. But I don't want her to take it the wrong way and talk to our family about it. Like she would tell her sister then her sister would tell my uncle etc.

[MerryH]

I really can't get past the whole cousin (even though she's not related by blood) thing, and I don't think many other people would, either. Namely your family. And maybe her.

I don't think you should talk to her about this. That would be really, really awkward if she's not into it. I mean, maybe just hang out with her and see where it goes?

Yeugh. Sorry, man. I just can't do it. I can't give you any good advice. It's the cousin thing.

Not that there's anything inherently wrong about this. You're not a terrible pervert, and I'm not trying to make you feel bad, or anything. It's just...she's got cooties.

That's what it is. Family cooties.

[curly1118]

Yeah I see what you mean. I dunno. I just haven't really been around her enough to think of her as family though. I feel like a total creep for posting this anyways. When I wrote it the first time I was shaking like a leaf. I don't think anyone could make me feel any worse about it. Heh. Thanks for the feedback though.

[warriormaiden]

I think you're reading a bit too in to it.
When you dance, you're supposed to touch, you do know that? :-P

Me and my cousins give each other extra squeezy hugs. I think you're allowing your already there feelings to take control and lead the way.

Unless the girl outright tells you that she's in to you, or suddenly grabs your balls. I would let it go.

[curly1118]

Yeah I've danced before and I realize it's supposed to be close. I think I stated that. But she didn't even dance that way with her boyfriend. And that was not a family hug. It was like a "call me later" hug. I don't even know how to explain it. But you could be right.

[MerryH]

Yeah I see what you mean. I dunno. I just haven't really been around her enough to think of her as family though. I feel like a total creep for posting this anyways. When I wrote it the first time I was shaking like a leaf. I don't think anyone could make me feel any worse about it. Heh. Thanks for the feedback though.

Don't feel too bad about it. Posting it here was probably a good idea. I'm sure you're not talking to your friends or family about it, so it's good that you got it off your chest.

[warriormaiden]

Yeah I've danced before and I realize it's supposed to be close. I think I stated that. But she didn't even dance that way with her boyfriend. And that was not a family hug. It was like a "call me later" hug. I don't even know how to explain it. But you could be right.

Had she been drinking?

[curly1118]

Had she been drinking?

No, actually. She was the one driving so she couldn't.

[xxazurexx]

Unless the girl outright tells you that she's in to you, or suddenly grabs your balls. I would let it go.

Some of us do tend to be more 'subtle' than this ^^^^^

Only a slag would grab a mans balls to make an interest known...

I dunno. I just haven't really been around her enough to think of her as family though

So she's practically a relative stranger then.

I wouldn't have a frigging clue who the daughters or sons of any of my uncles wifes sisters are and because I've never met any of them., so of course I wouldn't and don't think of any of them as family either.

I don't think it's as bad a situation, as it would be if it was a 'blood' relative.

As for your feeling she was getting a too close . Well currently she has a bf and when a female has a bf, it's best not to read into anything.

Add her on FB and see what happens.

[curly1118]

Thanks Azure. I'll do just that.

[fi123]

She could just be trying to make her boyfriend jealous? Girls do flirt with other men in front of their boyfriends from time to time for that very reason. Women can be devious!

[curly1118]

She could just be trying to make her boyfriend jealous? Girls do flirt with other men in front of their boyfriends from time to time for that very reason. Women can be devious!

Yeah. I was thinking that too. D:

[xxazurexx]

She could just be trying to make her boyfriend jealous? Girls do flirt with other men in front of their boyfriends from time to time for that very reason. Women can be devious!

Perhaps the ones you knew were - we aren't all the same.

And insecure girls are more likely to pull this ^^ shit.