Is it wrong for me to be mad at my boyfriend over this?

[salena]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months now and I would say things were going pretty good. Recently I've felt like we're falling apart. We aren't physical anymore and aren't romantic and says he's "tired" but i think it's because his not attracted to me anymore.

I’ve noticed that he HATES talking about his past and never talks about his exes or his life before we met. So I don’t know her name, where she lives, or anything about her.

He left his laptop on one night and I used it to check my facebook really quick and his account was already signed into. Nothing looked suspicious except for when I saw his outgoing messages and a girl (who I’ve seen writing on his facebook wall occasionally) telling her how he he was ending things with her because she has a new boyfriend. This was however dated back to before my boyfriend and I had even met so whatever. But he was convincing her to get back with him, blah blah.

The thing that made me so mad was the fact that he said things to her that his said to me everyday. Things like “you’re the most beautiful person I know” and “you’re the best things that’s ever happened to me” and that “I saved him from suicide”.

He also told me that he hasn't dated anyone since his moved to my state. I remember when we first met that I found a box of empty condoms in his room and he claims he bought those for when me and him had sex.

Do I have a good reason for being upset? I feel like everything his said to me has been a lie or something he tells all his exes. He also said in the message that he'd probably love her years from now, whether she talks to him or not and that he'll always love her.

He doesn't know that I know any of this.

[smackie9]

No you shouldn't because all this happened before you. Here's a life's lesson for you. When people start a relationship they live in the moment and yes "say those things" talk of love, marriage, saying never felt this way blah blah blah. You are kidding yourself if you think you are everything to him or for that matter any guy you ever date. There are other people in everyone's life that have a special place in their heart. I'm sure you do yourself.

As for him losing interest......relationships will come and go in your life until you are mature and ready for a life partner. You have much to learn about adult relationships and how they work. If it's dying off in your relationship, that means the relationship has run it's course. The reality is that you are not "the one" he is planning to marry. Don't take it personally. It's just time to move on.

[HeartIsAching]

Yes, it's wrong. You're wrong, on so many levels:

1. You are getting angry about something that happened before you.
2. You snooped where you didn't belong - this is abusive behavior. If it were me, I'd dump you over it.
3. You're distrustful. I'll bet you tell him that you trust him - telling him now that you snooped and found things will let him know that you DON'T trust him, which will mean that on some level he'll understand that you've lied to him, and will in turn make him trust you less.

Keep it to yourself unless you plan on losing him.

[ZachN]

I have to agree with the people above. it would be wrong for you to get mad over this.
In my opinion, if you do get mad about this and reveal the fact that you snooped, a
breakup is bound to happen.

I don't mean to make you feel bad, but give him his space as well. All the best to you.

[Stephanie Fox]

The green eyed monster... Oh dear.
It's not good snooping around. You might find something which you don't like. You never know.
Did you think about that he is stressed? And some guys have good relationships with their exes... Some like it some not.
But he met you after that girl and he is with YOU. He loves YOU and just take that into consideration.
If a guy is still not over his ex he wouldn't be in a relationship. They would have flings and stuff.
So just chill. And try to seduce him be happy and don't be a stalker. Life is short to be upset about silly things..
If you would like some more advices just check this out how-to-win-a-girls-heart.net

[ashley89]

the fact that you said it dated back to BEFORE you guys were together makes the whole thing irrelevant. also, like everyone else said, you went through his inbox to find the messages. you said he "left facebook open" but you had to voluntarily click on his inbox and proceed to go through his messages to find it, which is wrong. he didn't do anything wrong, so he had an old message from an ex, who cares? it's not like he's doing this stuff behind your back now while you're in a relationship

[BeingAlpha]

The thing that made me so mad was the fact that he said things to her that his said to me everyday. Things like “you’re the most beautiful person I know” and “you’re the best things that’s ever happened to me” and that “I saved him from suicide”.

Okay lets play logic for a second... he doesn't know his ex anymore and at the time she was the most beautiful person he knew -- so now he knows you and you have replaced her in that role.

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me -- same logic as above -- you have replaced her in that role...and the mere fact that you haven't ripped his heart out yet makes you better than the ex -- don't ya think?

Lastly -- as far as guys saying stuff to ALL THE GIRLS -- how many times have girls said: " I don't usually do this or I've never done anything like this before." -- I have never once believed them nor have I believed I am the first guy who has heard it from her... ha.

[hello1]

Yes I understand how much it hurts. I found old love letters of my boyfriend to his ex and he said same thing to me as he said to her.

But when I think about it though, if I got in another relationships wouldn't I be saying the same things to this next guy? most properly would. Sadly there is no true love at there, there are lots of people we can be happy with but not all of them are long term partners. Its about finding that long term partner

[GK001]

Sadly there is no true love at there, there are lots of people we can be happy with but not all of them are long term partners. Its about finding that long term partner

Yes thats the logical way of looking at it. If Love is logical there wont be a need for this forum! lol
There are always nice girls loving assholes and there are always nice guys becoming martyrs. It comes a time when you get hurt enough you learn and fall for the right one.