Not sure if i am being too uptight?

[JadenMia]

So after a breakup, me and my partner want to make things work the best we can as neither of us wanted be to be apart..
We have had a few issues, mostly silly arguments and jealousy. I feel we are *alot* better than before, but there is still some things that we just dont agree or understand as a couple.

The last few nights, we have argued about stupid stuff and gone to bed angry.. Every morning we both go to work and say our apologies and try to have a good night when we come home.. It has been like this for 3 nights now.
Tonight we promised we would get a good movie to watch, a nice supper and the candles

Except a poker game came up with him and his friends.. While i dont care that he goes until i am home from work and until we can sit down and spend time together.. I know hes going to drink while he's their and i just wanted a sober, loving night.

He thinks im being uptight.. he said he just wants to play poker and have a beer like 'normal people'... While i understand that, his beer always turns into beers. lol

Its situation like these where i am not sure how to act, i love him to pieces and want him to be happy with me.. But i want to get what i deserve also.. I sometimes feel frustrated he doesnt always understand the meaning to my madness lol and i can only imagine he feels the exact same way!
Obviously i said i wouldnt mind if he went.. but said i wouldnt be too happy if hes all tipsy when we are trying to sepend time to fix things.

Can i get some input from u guys on here please? Thanks in advance!!

[MerryH]

Has he come home yet? Was he tipsy?

I think you handled it pretty well, actually.

[reeba]

You two were going to have a 'make up' dinner/movie and he stood you up to play poker and drink beer with his friends?

When did he say he wanted to do this instead? An hour prior to your date? And you told him it was OK, although obviously it isn't OK with you otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. Why in the world did you say OK to this insensitive request of his? Sounds like you are doing a lot of giving, and he is doing a lot of taking in this relationship.

Basically he dumped you and the 'make up' dinner because he had a better offer. My gut instinct is you are a very low priority to him.

[reyes84]

While I understand your worried that he'll end up drunk when he gets home to you after the poker game, part of you guys trying to work things out and moving forward is you trusting him. Why not try and tell him you're ok with him going to play poker but to make sure he doesn't drink too much because this dinner is important to you and you want to be able to spend time with him while he's sober. He should be able to understand how you feel and if he really cares about you he'd do it. You meet him halfway (let him go play poker and drink) and he should meet you halfway (he can drink, but to a minimum).

[JadenMia]

Yeah, well i said obviously he could go.. I really dont mind him going out. A poker game with his buddies is harmless and i would usually have nothing to say about it. But yeah it was annoying he asked to go even when he knows we are having trouble between us right now and that night was supposed to be for us to be feeling good about us again.

Yeah he did come home eventually after me getting pissy with him at 10pm saying if he was going to be much later i would go to bed instead. He finally made it to come see me at 10.30.. By that time there wasnt much time to spend together as i had work at 7 in the morning. Its just so frustrating!!!!

Whenever i say anything about this kinda stuff to him, he takes it as im nagging him. I have tried everything.. From steering clear of 'nagging' and just trying to discuss, or even praise him when he does something nice and respectful. He just doesnt want to hear about it. I am wits end with him, we have major communication problems.. If he says i do something wrong, i dont understand what hes saying, I just dont agree with him that i did something wrong.. and he is the same way.

Will someone help me to understand how to get through to him? Or even just to understand him would be nice.. We are having so many problems.. And our whole weekend was a complete write off with arguing..
It gets this bad, and i know people will say leave him.. As my friends and family have advised.. But we already tried to just call it quits and we couldnt stay away from each other and we were miserable..
I just dont know what to do anymore..