Lately, i cannot help get the feeling i am in the wrong relationship.
It bugs me when we are apart, and is like a constant nagging feeling that i know i could do better.. and that i deserve so much more. It doesnt help when my friends are constantly telling me this, so i tend not to talk to my friends about this at all anymore..Which is what brings me here.
I know my boyfriend is selfish, hes immature.. And im pretty sure he's not ready for the things in life that i am. I have a daughter and would like to settle down in the very near future. Yet he talks of kids and settling down marriage style as a thing that is in like 10 years away.. lol
I love him to pieces, we have so much fun together.. Its like this euphoric love i have never really felt before in my life. We could sit for hours together and not talk and still have fun. I know he feels the same way as i do.. He always wants to be with me, constantly texting and calling and shows me non-stop affection when we are together.
Its the everyday life we dont mix well with.. Which is obviously a HUGE problem.
He doesnt always respect my needs and wishes and i could probably say i do the same.
Today when i asked 'Are in love with me? In the way you could see yourself spending your life with me..'
His answer was 'If things between us got better, i would consider marrying you someday.. If it felt right.'
Sometimes i feel as i am wasting my love and time on this man.. I love him, cannot bear the thought of me not being with him.. But at the same time, i feel like im being a coward and not getting what i really deserve in life.
When i tell him how i feel, he laughs and explains this is not a fairytale story.. It is real life and i should grow up and stop being so impatient. I am almost scared he is right.. I always thought i would grow up and live a life with a man that made me feel beautiful and special. Not scared and miserable..
These feelings will not leave me alone, it sometimes just makes me horribly sad even when i am at work i feel like a zombie just constantly thinking about it.
What is wrong with me!?
Why am i so bad at understanding when it is time to leave.. I stay and will be miserable until it is forced that i have to be alone..I dont want to make the same mistake as i did with my first love..
Has anyone any advice?? Please and thankyou.