Confused, am I over my ex or am I just ughh..

[magailong]

Hello, I am new to the forums and I wanted to go a place where I am completely anonymous since this problem of mine can not be shared with anyone close to me because of the implications I might get.

First of all, my main problem is that I still think of my ex. I don't think of her everyday but I do think of her and dream of her. We were together for four years, she was my first girlfriend, we lost our virginity to each other. We were EXTREMELY, and I mean extremely attached to each other. Ever since the day I met her, I talked to her every single day for the past four years. We've fought and made up a billion times, broke up 10x and eventually got back together. Basically, this was a typical first love relationship that started when I was 15.

After high school, we both left the Philippines and moved to the US but in different states. I stayed in California, she stayed in Florida. We kept up the long distance relationship for a year and saw each other every Christmas for 2 years. But things were not the same and she was very unstable and needed someone close to her in Florida. Then I found out that she was going out with this guy in Florida which she confirmed it was true, and that's where all hell broke lose. To cut the story short, we broke up. We did not talk for months and then started to talk again, but just as friends. We then saw each other back home in the Philippines during Christmas, we were intimate, and constantly together. When we were back in the US, we started talking on the phone again etc. but we kept fighting more even when we were not together, until finally it dawned on to me that she went out with a guy while we were together. Even though there was no physical contact, that lie went on for months. So then I just talked to her but in my heart I would never want to be with her.

Fast forward to a year later, I met this Vietnamese girl. She is perfect. Although my ex is more attractive and more outgoing, this girl was the kind of woman you marry and settle down with because she is perfect. She is now my girlfriend and before we got together, I broke of all ties with my ex because it would be unfair for my girlfriend since my ex still loves me and wants us to be together again. I haven't spoken to my ex in months, I don't think of her, but it's natural to think of your ex because they are a huge part of your life. The thing is I dream of her, and I think of her sometimes. But we can never be together because there is NO FUTURE with her, she is not the type of person you can depend on with work, school etc. I am not bad mouthing her, I am only being honest. But there is no future with her and I can not accept that what she did. (I have an issue with trust because my dad cheated on my mother)

This is getting lengthy so I do apologize. All I want is someone to tell me how I am feeling. I am confused. I think of my ex, but I love my girlfriend. My girlfriend loves me. It's almost 12am, I'm tired from school and I just had to write this. I do apologize if my English is bad, I do hope it is legible. I'm asking for help but I don't really know what to ask or how to say it.

- Confused 21 year old adolescent

[Darkest Heaven]

I think that you didn't give yourself enough time to get over your ex completely before meeting this new girl.

As far as what I would do, I would recognize the issue and discuss it with the new girl just so she's aware of what's going on. Yeah it sucks, but your emotions are all over the place, and if you really love her you'll see that it's not fair to her.