Does this guy treat me like a very good friend or he likes me?

[KeenaUsas]

I have this guy friend, I think we are quite close and very good friends. But I am not sure if he just treats me like a friend or he likes me as a girl. We are in the same work place, and there are several things he does for me that I feel quite touched, but again, he is a caring guy and has quite some close female friends...i dont know how to judge.

When I think of leaving this workplace, and he knows I like plants, when I suggested I wanted to plant some seeds, he volunteered to go with me and some other friends. Afraid that this would fail, he took some seeds home and plant them himself. and when they sprouted, he excitedly told me, and said he wanted to persuade me not to leave and he told himself if the seeds sprouted, he will persuade me to stay. He took the pots from his home to my work desk for me.

When he has to go on business trip for 3 weeks, he told me he is afraid that I'd feel cold, so he left his jacket with me, I already told him I dont need and I had my own jacket, but he said he is afraid it's not enough.

When we go for dinner together, he usually buys me drinks and refuse to have me pay him back. Sometimes, he will treat me dinner or lunch when we are alone and also doesnt want me to pay back..everytime we walk together, he will make sure I walk on the inner side of the road further away from the traffic.

And when he found out i am suffering from a certain illness (not very serious), he went on to research on it and send me some recommended diets, and he read that vitamins will help, and bought me different types of those vitamins and don't want my money again.

There was once when it's raining, and we shared an umbrella. he held the umbrella with his left hand while I walked on his right, and he kept asking me to go into the centre of the umbrella, and used his hands to pushed my waist gently so i moved into the umbrella more..

I treat him like an elder brother, is he the same towards me like a sister or he sees me as someone more special? But again, I think he has quite many close female friends, and he did tell me before he treats them like sisters.

[weird cat]

being a guy who shares a similar disposition as the guy you are describing, I would say the big question is, do you feel, or could otherwise verify, that he goes out of his way to do things for you more often, or more in depth, than those other female friends he has?

if I was to look at your situation completely without bias, everything else he does for you seem like normal, gentlemanly things to do, as in anyone who has such capacity could pull it off, with the exception of him planting a seed for you, to me, something like that is more personal, which to me would require more of a motivation than him simply being a gentleman.

in my case, I go out of my way to care for friends that are in need, or could use some assistance, but if I have feelings for someone, then for that person I would go way further, to the point of losing myself or making a fool out of myself. if he does indeed do the same gentlemanly, caring things for all his female friends without clear distinction, then I would caution that you be careful with your feelings toward him, what says that he will treat you any more special even if he knows you have feelings for him?

hope that helps

[xxazurexx]

Sounds like he sees you as a friend.

I wouldn't take any guy seriously, who has lots of 'close' female friends. Lots of 'close' friends of the opposite sex can 'also' sometimes prove to be a red flag IMO....MY opinion.

[curly1118]

I wouldn't take any guy seriously, who has lots of 'close' female friends. Lots of 'close' friends of the opposite sex can 'also' sometimes prove to be a red flag IMO....MY opinion.

I'll have to agree here. I think it goes both ways. You can't be super close friends with lets say "Janet" if she will sleep with everything that has two legs and a woodie. If someone has hidden agendas they will make it difficult for you.

[KeenaUsas]

Yea..maybe he treats me like a sister, the reason why i want to leave the work place was because of some sort of bullying by another female colleague, it happened when he was on business trip again, and when i emailed him, he replied at 5am, saying i completely understand your wound and wish I could be there with you...

he actually has many close female friends, but whether he treats them as good as he treats me, I am not too sure...but out of all his close friends in workplace, some of them he knows for way longer (5 years) than me... i think he cares for me the most, but i feel that this is partly because of the bad treatment i have gotten from this female colleague and he did it out of pity. Yea. In short, I think he just pities me.