Is it appropriate to ask such question to an online acquaintance?

[LoveWanderer]

I have been emailing someone on OKCupid back and forth from time to time discussing about non personal related issues, maybe an email exchange a week or so for past 1.5 months. Usually emails are kept to 6-7 lines, no more. According to his profile, just like mine, looking for new friends only, no mentioning of dating or whatsoever.
I finally agreed to meet in person, but on one condition: it's not a date, it's just a meeting. He agreed.
We had a great 1.5 hrs face to face chat. A few days later, he suggested through email we should go for a drink or catch dinner some time when I get less busy, and 2 days later out of the blue he asked: when was the last time you've fallen in love?
I thought it was an odd question...

My questions:
1) is it proper for an acquaintance to ask such question?
2) is it something common that guys ask that I don't know about?
3) is he trying to looking for something more than friendship or am I thinking too much?

I pretty much tried to dodge the question by saying something along the line of: yeh, fell in love with Godiva.

Guys, I'd like to get your opinions on this. Thanks.

[vashti]

Firstly, I'm not male, but I'm not sure what would make this an inappropriate question. An inappropriate question would be more like "do you have to wear a bra?"

OK Cupid is a DATING site. I would expect everyone there is interested in meeting someone they can hit it off with.

[sweetkissesforu]

Firstly, I'm not male, but I'm not sure what would make this an inappropriate question. An inappropriate question would be more like "do you have to wear a bra?"

OK Cupid is a DATING site. I would expect everyone there is interested in meeting someone they can hit it off with.

its also was close to Valentines Day duh

[whatthis]

Ok so I'm not a guy, but I came across this post and had to respond. I've done online dating A LOT. And I've talked to A LOT of guys who is ok with "just being friends" even though you make sure you make them agree to being "nothing more than friends". Here are the scenarios:
1) They wanna hook up (FWB kinda deal)
2) They are ok with being just friends, but they eventually want something more (meaning they will try to woo you).

In your case, since he asked you about "love", it seems that he is bullet item 2. He is trying to woo you.

I've accumulated a TON of people who wants to be "just friends" via online dating. Out of a 100 (literally) only about 2 are honest when they say they're just looking for friendship (without benefits).

[LoveWanderer]

He's asking me to have coffee or dinner with him. I guess whatthis may be right.
But then this guy is such a big flirt. Though his emails aren't long, they are quite flirtatious.

[VincenzoG91]

OK Cupid is a DATING site. I would expect everyone there is interested in meeting someone they can hit it off with.

EXACTLY. What the hell are people doing at OK Cupid trying to just make new friends? That's b-s.

[LoveWanderer]

Well some people go on OKC to find roommates... maybe I am naive but a few people I talk to feels like guy friends I talk to irl, like buddies.

[xxazurexx]

I once had a guy ask me 'When was the last time I fell in love'. It was a 'prelude' and for him to say that he had fallen in love with me and after a few days of chatting...lmao
Course I stopped talking to the idiot....he didn't know me well enough to say he could love me.and we know why men move too fast in the early days....

I reckon he's asked and because:

1. He' starting to develop feelings for you
2. It's gonna be a build up to the speech 'Im in love with you' and because he's looking for an easy and quick way into your pants.....?
3. He's looking to see how long it is and since you were last seriously involved with a man. He could be a guy who refrains from getting involved with women who are sorta 'fresh' out of relationships.

[xxazurexx]

EXACTLY. What the hell are people doing at OK Cupid trying to just make new friends? That's b-s.

I don't think they are. Some just say they are.

Saying 'just friends' saves having to reject the unappealing guys/women who may mail and because they 'think' we just want friends....
Saying 'just friends', can also deter those looking for sex...

If an appealing guy comes along and mails, I'd tell him that although I say 'friends' in my profile.....'who knows where friends leads'...lol
The unappealing guys get 'Sorry, but I state in my profile I just want friends'....

[ambaint]

I'd agree to say that you are on a dating website and is probably looking to get to know you more. Since you only communicate online you can continue your "friendship" or let him know that you're not interested in talking about your love life with him

[LoveWanderer]

Thanks everyone for your input.
Last week he asked me to go coffee or dinner with him, when I suggested a date and time, I never got a response back.
And on Monday I just dropped a line to say hi and asked where had been hiding. He replied: too cold I went into hibernation. He said he would text later then nothing.
Anyway it is all history. I have enough flaky friends irl already, I have no desire for more flaky ones and I don't like being ppl's time filler when they have nothing else better to do.

[Mr. Turtle]

I met a girl on OKcupid and we did the whole thing, things are where they are now with us, but I think that he has an interest and if you are really just looking for friends, then clearly state that. Its a very awkward medium, but there are some good things about it. Exposure to people you wouldnt normally meet. I think he is probably very interested as that is the only reason I would see inviting you to a bar or dinner because its one on one time. You have to state the ground rules clear and precise. We men are not mind readers.

[LoveWanderer]

So after 2.5 weeks of disappearing, and not logging in to OKC, he finally logged on. No he did not apologize for flaking out but simply gave the reason why he hadn't replied OKC messages earlier: he did not feel good dating a girl in one place and talking to others in another place.
And he gave me his email asking me to send messages to him directly, precising that the email was exclusively reserved for friends with a at the end! Also asked me when I was going to come by where he works so he could buy me lunch.

My opinion on this:
I could understand he may be dating a jealous girl and wants as little drama as possible but if he is sincerely troubled with talking to people of opposite sex in addition to dating, then that person should just end all chats. How would moving the chat from one place to another be any different? The only difference I could see is he can carry on with his flirtatious attitude with other girls without being traced, no login record on OKC.
Maybe I am overreacting but I sense trouble. A backup like situation.

What are your opinions? I think it is best that I move on and ignore him.

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah, this guy sounds like trouble. Unless you like intrigue and drama more than romance, forget him.