Great BF, Trouble Communicating

[Jjtxesu]

Soo I will just start out by saying this is my first healthy relationship and I feel really good about it at time, but at other times I feel like it's soo hard to communicate with him effectively. We have been together almost a year now, started living together pretty soon (6 months) but it has made us stronger. It was hard at first, monetary issues and just issues that come up in relationships I think are a little more stressed when you live with your significant other because you have to work them out then and their or be uncomfortable in your own home. This is also the first time either of us has moved in w a bf/gf.
Anyways things have been good for awhile..till this damn Valentine's Day. It was our first Valentine's while being together, last year we were still in that awkward stage where we didn't even sit on the same couch when he came over to watch a movie(haha it was awesome!). Needless to say I was pretty excited, as was he. He was going to surprise me on taking me somewhere. He is silly though, he's only had one other gf other than me (he's 23 I'm 25) and that was in high school, so he thought he could just call when he got out of work and make the reservations. Missing the dinner is not what bothered me. What bothered me is prob that I was expecting so much and I feel that I got nothing. I feel that days like Valentine's Day are days you are supposed to tell the people you love how much they mean to you. I gave him a card and spilled my feelings in 4 or 5 sentences telling him how much I appreciated every time he'd been there for me and how glad I was to have someone like him in my life. He sent me flowers, a bear, chocolate, and a balloon and asked me to take a picture of it when I told him I got it because he hadn't even seen the one he picked out. I probably spent more time picking out the perfect card than he spent ordering the flowers online. And of course all day girls all over facebook are writing about how sweet their bfs are and everything amazing they did for them.
He kept asking what was wrong on Monday as we drove to pick up food, I tried to act fine as possible because I feel like everytime we start to argue he ends up saying "i'm tired of this shit." that just really hurts my feelings and I used to say "if you're tired of it ,leave". Buut i'm soo over that conversation(I guess this is the ugliness of our relationship )Anyways I kept trying to find a way to talk to him about it without pissing him off, so when we got home from work today I said look at all the sweet things he did for her(two of our friends). Of course, this pissed him off and he went off on how I would rather be treated bad the entire year and just get presents one day to make up for it..I told him I can't even talk to him without him being all pissed.
I don't know, he is really good to me all the time, but I feel like I should be able to ask for a little something more on special days. Not presents, just small things are what matter to me. The weird things is he usually does/say really sweet random things for me. But if he would do it on any other day why not on obviously important dates? I almost start to feel guilty, but then again not. I don't want to just give in. I want a solution. I don't know how to talk to him without arguing. I'm over the arguing. Is there something big I'm not seeing?? Help please.

[sweetkissesforu]

first off men and women communicate different that's a given
men show there love by doing things and your bf did do that
then you whine and complain because you put more thought into it your card
there are women out there that don't get anything from their bf or husbands
you got something you want to make it a competition
stop your whining or he wont do it for you next year then you can really whine
or maybe he will leave because you do not appreciate the things he does do for you

[Saya]

I think you're expecting too much?

You should at least appreciate for him sending you, flowers/chocolate/bear/balloons.... He showed how much he loves you by getting you those things...isn't that nice enough?
Men and women express their feelings/communicate/showing love differently... some men can't express their feelings by writing things... He expressed by getting you nice things.

But if you don't stop whinging or if you dont appreciate things then he may end up leaving you.

[HeartIsAching]

Really? You got mad because he made SOME effort on the Hallmark Holiday?

Be happy he did anything at all. My wife got a card this year. I spent some time picking it out, and spent some time thinking of what to write in it, but I didn't take her out to dinner, I didn't buy her flowers, I didn't buy her candy and I didn't buy her a stuffed animal. And how do you know how much time he spent picking those things out? You're making all sorts of assumptions here, and then having the nerve to compare him to other men whose effort you ASSUME is better.

All you're doing is making sure that he knows that you don't appreciate him or his effort. If you keep up that crap, enjoy being single.