Having Difficulty Getting Past the Friend Zone

[Xtrykr]

I am a bit frustrated right now in that nearly all the women I meet, they never consider me as dating/relationship material and very quickly put me in the "friend zone". I do come off as a nice guy, but I'm quite bluntly honest and straight-forward as well. I'm humble, modest, and fairly confident, however, ladies continue to put me in that friend zone. Worse-over, they very quickly become real good friends with me, and spew their life story to me as they do find me to be a very genuine and trustworthy guy. Its come to the point where I really do not want to make any more friends as I can only keep so many friendships strong without any major dilution.

I've even gone to the point where I tell the other individual that I just want to date or develop a relationship, but still, it ends up this way. Don't get me wrong, I face rejection fairly well and quickly move on to the next. I don't think I'm a tool, but do I really need to put on that bad boy image in order for me to be considered? It feels real fake if I had to do that, so I've refused to do that, but all these books says otherwise... What do I know? What are some of your guys/gals thoughts on this?

[Ferg]

There are a few things that those books you are talking about get right, but you can do them without being a jerk:

1) Be confident. Don't brag and don't fish for complements. And remember: sympathy isn't sexy. Getting a girl to feel sorry will get you attention, but it isn't the right kind of attention. Stay away from sob stories and, if you must talk about work, keep it positive. Most of all, you don't need to show off how sensitive you are.
2) Making her feel like she is the only woman in the room is great . . . after you start dating or when you are ready to ask her out ASAP. Focus on getting in the same group conversations that she is in and occasionally and briefly focus on her alone, as in, "Hey, I'm about to go grab another drink, do you want one?" or "I'm totally lost, what movie are they talking about?" You are interested in her, now give her some time to develop interest in you.

When it comes time to ask her out, just do it. Don't go for the "as friends" angle if she hesitates either. Don't go on and on about how you are looking for "someone" in your conversations with her either. She doesn't need to feel like she is applying for a position. It probably isn't that women just consider you better friend material than boyfriend material; it is probably just that you keep trying to turn friendships into relationships. That's difficult for anyone to do, and you should be flattered that so many women trust you so much. When it comes to dating, though, it is okay to save all of the soul-baring stuff for after the first date.

I know all of this might not apply to you, and I am mostly directing it at my past self, but I hope it helps.

[Xtrykr]

Thanks, these seem like excellent tips. Will give this try on my next opportunity. I think I get your "idea".

[sweetkissesforu]

[url=http://www.buzzle.com/articles/how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone.html]How to Get Out of the Friend Zone[/url]
Maybe this article can help you

[Xtrykr]

sweetkissforu, i have had some bad experiences when i ignore or not contact with some of my lady friends, they actually take it negatively and think that our friendship is deteriorating, to the point they think im actually be a jerk... But because they have no actual "need" or "attraction" for me, they cease their friendship with me. I know this depends from person to person, but I think that perhaps a lot of the women I'm attracted to and vice-versa are not looking at me as dating/relationship material.

[sweetkissesforu]

sweetkissforu, i have had some bad experiences when i ignore or not contact with some of my lady friends, they actually take it negatively and think that our friendship is deteriorating, to the point they think im actually be a jerk... But because they have no actual "need" or "attraction" for me, they cease their friendship with me. I know this depends from person to person, but I think that perhaps a lot of the women I'm attracted to and vice-versa are not looking at me as dating/relationship material.

I read a post here earlier where a guy redifined himself new clothes hair cut shaved his beard built his self esteem joined a book club and met the woman of his dreams when he least expected it here is the link to his story

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-stories/50759-happy-endings-have-start-somewhere-2-a.html[/url]

[Xtrykr]

Thanks for the optimistic story