opinionsss...

[Bo]

Is it better to start a relationship after being friends or better to start dating from the very beginning?

[KingZ]

You have to define the latter more specifically. There isn't really a "very beginning". When you see someone attractive, do you instantly start banging away? No. There's always period of time beforehand.

[Bo]

You have to define the latter more specifically. There isn't really a "very beginning". When you see someone attractive, do you instantly start banging away? No. There's always period of time beforehand.

oh i don't mean sex right away but you know, going out on dates, being flirty, and getting to know each other on a romantic level. Or is it better to have a period at the beginning where you are exclusively ONLY friends.

[warriormaiden]

I feel like, the just friends things in the beginning can be kind of difficult to transition in to a relationship. Because there's the whole, 'does he like me' thing, and then after it has been established that there is romantic interest on both parts, it's then the 'what do we do now' that comes up.

It's much easier to meet someone, and kinda get to know them, and then go on a date without a great big effort being put in to it.

[Fabulous]

I agree that being friends first introduces more complications.

[Bo]

well my bf and i became really good friends over a 4 month period....and were both hanging out with a mutual friend that i happened to run into around the same time. We were only friends for that time period especially because i had briefly dated one of his good friends previously, who turned out to be a real big jerk and also because the mutual gf of ours had a 'thing' for him even though she had a long-term bf already.

We ended up getting together one night when we had a little to drink, not a lot just a buzz. After that we started seeing each other for about a month and a half before our relationship was made 'official'. it HAS made certain aspects of our relationship very complicated from the beginning but i think it's also helped us in a lot of ways. He says he respects me a little more because we were good friends to begin with.

We are still together now but sometimes those old issues still creep up and it's so aggravating....

[eonbar]

i personally like the friends frist thing. however, i think there is a critical point of duration of friendship, which is in relation to how 'friendly' each member is.

for example, loads of contact and friendship over a week and then dating = ok
or minimal contact via a mutual friend over maybe a month but only seeing each other / talking once a week or something...

know what i mean? easier that way i think. you get the know the person without the awkward 2nd date and realising you dont actually like them....

[Sonrisa]

When you see someone attractive, do you instantly start banging away? No.

some of us do

[Bo]

some of us do

lol!!!!!!!!

[sweetkissesforu]

From what i have heard a relationship has a better chance to survive if they are able to be friends and i also read resently read some of John Gottmans ebooks he believes in the 5-1 theory google gottman he has alot to say on weather a realtionship will last

[Bo]

Well i think when you become friends first, there's a certain kind of trust there that you don't have if you just start dating from the beginning...

[yellowbiz]

The thing is, it's that much easier to start a relationship with someone new and not a friend, just in case it doesn't work out..

[xxazurexx]

I've had both kinds.

Relationships where we were friends first and ones where we were complete strangers beforehand.

My ex husband was a complete stranger to me. Went out one night, saw him for the first ever time, got talkimg and he'd passed his number to me. I rang, we began seeing each other, shacked up and then married......all within six months.

What a fool I used to be...lols

Dowmfall is, is if you are friends first and then go to lovers.....if it fails the friendship is gone.

I went from friends to more...then when it didn't work out, he still wanted the friendship and I found it hard to go back to the friendship and I struggled with it for a long time.

[Bo]

I've had both kinds.

Relationships where we were friends first and ones where we were complete strangers beforehand.

My ex husband was a complete stranger to me. Went out one night, saw him for the first ever time, got talkimg and he'd passed his number to me. I rang, we began seeing each other, shacked up and then married......all within six months.

What a fool I used to be...lols

Dowmfall is, is if you are friends first and then go to lovers.....if it fails the friendship is gone.

I went from friends to more...then when it didn't work out, he still wanted the friendship and I found it hard to go back to the friendship and I struggled with it for a long time.

VERY ture, it's hard to go from friendship to relationship and back to friendship. Sometimes it's just causes too much emotional distress and hurt to try to pretend that all is ok and go back to a 'friendship'