Not sure what to do

[Newbie1982]

Hey everyone,

I am new to this but have a dilema and needed to talk to someone away from the situation if that makes sense.

I have been dating a girl for around 5 months and things are going well. She told me she loved me and I did not say it back. I said I just needed a little more time. We are happy though and she is a very caring and understanding girl.

The other night I woke up to a text on her phone. I usually check the time on her phone and because it was an iphone I saw a text from a friend she told me about telling her how horny he still is thinking about her. I was a little worried but decided to leave it alone. The next morning it was the first time she met my folks.

That week she told me she was meeting up with this guy and I got a little worried. I did not say I saw a text but said I did not like it as there has been a bit of history. She told me she cancelled on him.

I decided to confront her about it but was not quite sure what he did actually say in his text and then I started doubting myself. In a moment of madness I checked her phone. I felt so guilty about this and really worried. I saw her reply and she told him she felt the same way although she should not really admit it and he was the one who cancelled in the end.

I am really not sure what to do and how bad this actually is. She was lying in my bed when she texted it which makes me sad. Should I tell her? I am worried she'll get upset. I don't think she would ever cheat but she still wanted to go and meet him which is not right.

Help?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

End it. You don't love her, and she's not waiting around, clearly.

[reeba]

Ummmmmm. If you don't think she will cheat, then why are you upset and posting here?

She lied to you. Tried to meet up with a guy behind your back, who she sends racey text messages, from your bed (geesh, talk about inappropriate). And the reason why this plan fell apart is because he cancelled.

And you say she won't cheat. Cheaters lie to cover their tracks. And she lied to you.....why? Because she wanted to cheat. And she has NO respect for you. Texting from your bed?????? She probably had a laugh with her trampy friends when she told them this story.

Tell her 'I know about the cancelled meting with.... And understandably, I know I don't want to date you anymore. You lied about this meeting/date and you are not worthy of my trust or love.' And then leave pronto. There is no discussion on how you know this info because looking at texts is WRONG. There is no discussion where she tells you that you are awful or how she wants to stay or you misunderstood. You leave pronto. Exit with class so she can't tell her friends about the 'fight' or 'privacy invasion' or 'out of line jealousy over inocent male friends'.

[xxazurexx]

She told a guy that she was feeling horny and when he'd told her he was horny. She was all set to meet this guy and most probably would have had sex with him....until he cancelled.

This guy didn't just text her randomly and out of nowhere. He's been texting her for some time and knows her intimatley - either intimate talk, or she's already had sex with him.

And you don't think she would cheat??

She's not to be trusted.

Saying all that, if you can't say you love her after 5 months, I'm doubting your love for her and she could well be doubting it too.

Still no reason for her to consider cheating though.

[IncognitoSir]

Dump her, you come off as a HUGE push over the way you ended your original post. You think she'll be mad at you????? Who gives a flying ****!? She's already emotionally cheated on you, that's happened. Like xxazurexx said, this isn't some random text, she's BEEN texting this guy for a while now.