God damn cut and bleeding again!

[GK001]

So continue from this [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/49440-girl-i-have-feelings-went-back-her-violent-boyfriend-need-advice.html#post664382"]Thread[/URL] .

she called me the other day and told me to pick up some important paper work also money she owned me today. i thought i was strong enough, i thought i wont feel anything. so i went to meet her then we started chatting, had lunch together for an hr. during the chat it seems as though she doesn't remember anything we did together, all the things i've done the sacrifices i've made. didn't care at all whats happened with me during the 2month we didnt see each other. when i asked her what she did in NYE and Christmas EVE (we had previous plans to spend it together but obviously she was fking that animal) shes like omg thats so long ago??? then gave some lame ass 3worded answer...wtf? its only been a month and half! her ex has pwned her brain so hard with his cock she lost her short term memory?!

now i feel like such a used pieces of crap...thinking she told her ex about me and what i did for her, then prob laughing about it just makes my blood boil. i cant date girls now cos shes still in my mind...i wont treat girls like i did before because i'm scared i'll get hurt. god dammit...why do i have to meet a girl with a mental issue and fall for her so damn hard

old wounds start to bleed...same shit is starting to resonate in my brain again "am i so horrible you dont have any good memories?" "am i so boring to you i have a characteristic of a wooden plank?" "do i have no charisma you would rather get bashed to death by your ex then spend time with me?" "am i so ugly you would rather sleep with a man that's hunch backed ,bold, half a head shorter then you and 10yrs older?"

brings back the convo we had before:
shes says" i dont like young tall sexy man with nice cut body" "i dont care if the man is well dressed"..."i cant control my heart"

[xxazurexx]

I'm unsure why you even went along to meet her. Couldn't you post this paperwork? Money she owed you could have been sent through the post by recorded delivery.
You only open yourself up to being hurt more and when you will go off to meet her and spend an hour in her company. Why the heck spend an hour over lunch with
her. Honestly, it should have been a 5 minute meeting, then you should have left.

You will get over it one day. Know that doesn't help you at the moment though...but you will meet someone else eventually.

[GK001]

we were in the CBD so i thought i'll just drop the paper work off and get the money. i thought i got my confidence back after going to clubs/parties/pubs every week and realize girls still approach me.
she ask me to have coffee with her then one thing lead to another we started chatting and it went on for an hr.i didn't feel anything at the time but once i got back home it just hit me....what a bloody mistake.

she txted me again before wanting to meet up Friday. mental bitch prob want to extend the time on the money i borrowed her to feed her bum of a BF. $@#%$ no girl or any other person has treated me like this before because i dont take crap from any one, all i've gotten from ppl is love and respect. shes my softspot .

[xxazurexx]

It will probably take you some time and to get over it all. Still quite early days for you and the pain will be still kinda raw.

Don't feel too bad about it. I think each and everyone of us have been where you are, in that we trusted someone who badly let us down. It sounds like it's the first time you have been hurt?

[GK001]

shes the exact type of woman described here:

You think so? Abused women I have known have worked very hard to keep anyone from knowing they were being hurt. Because they feel like it is their fault.

It is a two-way thing. Abusers are good at choosing women who will stay in this kind of relationship-they look for women who are suckers for smooth talk and prone to being guilted. Then they woo these women HARD. They are amazingly charming and make it seem like they are worlds better than any other guy, completely willing to bend over backwards. And then when they lose their temper, they are good at deflecting the blame to the woman AND promising it will never happen again And for a while things are wonderful again, and the woman convinces herself the guy is awesome and it WAS her fault that he got so mad and she can just not make that mistake again. It's not like he punches her on their first date, the relationship and dependency grows for a while first.

And the women are drawn to this type of guy, due to their upbringing and expectations. These jerks seem more exciting and loving than healthy guys. They come in with NO expectations and dedicated to making the woman happy. And the abusers really do feel they need this woman-often when the woman leaves they become homicidal because of the strong NEED they feel to keep her or at least keep anyone else from having her.

It's a classic pattern, and neither participant is emotionally healthy.

yeah i havent really been hurt "this bad" my pass gfs respected me. the love just ran its course and we parted ways, still remain friends with them. she was the 1st to reject me, she was the 1st to not respect me, she was the 1st to reject even a friendly hug from me, she was the 1st to betray me. even though i sacrificed my chance to be with her to just be that friend who supported her during her darkest days. i became a martyr....

[xxazurexx]

Maybe that is your issue - you aren't used to being 'rejected'. Your pride is hurt, more than the fact you are hurting and because you truly loved her.

[GK001]

Maybe that is your issue - you aren't used to being 'rejected'. Your pride is hurt, more than the fact you are hurting and because you truly loved her.

yes my pride was hurt but those type of girls do that, i also truly cared for her. i shed tears for her which never happened before.
a bloody tool thats what i was. i wasn't even her friend. there is not a thread of memory left in her mind of what we went through. what type of person does that? its like she did it many times before...i guess she would need to wipe that part clean to forget the pain of her EX to go back to him.
i really hope she gets destroyed by him and hit rock bottom so she wouldn't do this kinna crap to any one else.

[jamiegirl19]

love just sucks !

[jamiegirl19]

sorry, just had to say tht.

[GK001]

Listen buddy, it's the result of those ppl on this forum advise ppl to get " one night stand" or "rebound" without a moral consideration of those ppl in your shoes right now :-).

my shoes? no i wasnt her rebound. i didnt sleep with her or cross the line. If you read my original thread i wasnt stupid lol
she made a choice for her self and she knows with this choice i cant be in her life. cos if i see her ex i would rip his balls off and shove it down his throat sincei list women beaters in the same book as rapist and pedos(she knows this).

I'm feeling a lot better now. pretty sure i'm over her.
In hindsight i did everything right, i didnt have illusions of her falling for me. she was true to her self for not making me her rebound(sexual relationship) or taking too much advantage of my financial status.
what she done wrong was treating me like a disposable tool by lying to my face and cutting all communication at the end. If she had a brain she would at least cherish a person like me in her life even as a true friend in a foreign land.
Girls like that usually are shortsighted and blinded by love their brains have no control. Which makes them perfect targets of abusive controlling man. Its just sad seeing some one you truly care about going down the wrong path that might destroy her life.but its her choice after all...