Is leaving long term bf risky?

[NinjaN]

This is another one of those 'Ive fallen in love with another man' type dillemmas but hear me out...

Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and alot of my friends/family say he doesnt deserve me and that he doesnt make a very good bf in general e.g. On our second year anniversary he abandoned me for a boozy house party, and on valentines day i spent weeks making his present when i got absolutely nothing back etc.

The main problem is though that he is INCREDIBLY POSSESSIVE and will stop at nothing to protect me.

I then became close with this guy who works at the same company as me, he told me his girlfriend is very similar and we often shared our problems regarding our relationships. We turned out to become absolute soulmates and its like we just click. He totally gets me. Weve been 'seeing' eachother for a few months now, in secret of course. But its not because of lust, we talk for hours on end!
He often says he wish the circumstances were different and that he has often comtemplated leaving his gf (not just because of me) and sometimes wonders what it would be like if we were together, ive also done the same.

So now i dont know who really deserves my time. the dedicated yet heavy burden of a bf or the promising but risky soulmate/lover?

[VincenzoG91]

My ex seems to be currently trapped in a relationship with an incredibly possessive guy who has made a hobby out of spying on her. And she has been asking me to help her leave him, except that she won't actually leave him yet. However, I would advise you to leave the current boyfriend and just be alone for a while before dating anybody else, but stay friends with the new guy until he is also single.

[Horseyguy]

I don't think you boyfriend deserves to be with someone that cheats on him

Why are you even with him?, obviously don't love him otherwise you wouldn't be cheating on him. Just let him go and let him be with someone that's going to love him and not do the dirty behind his back

I think you and your cheating "soul mate" deserve each other, running around cheating on your partners .. pffft whatever

And nice try shifting the blame on to him as your justification for hooking up with someone else, shame on you

[sweetkissesforu]

I don't think you boyfriend deserves to be with someone that cheats on him

Why are you even with him?, obviously don't love him otherwise you wouldn't be cheating on him. Just let him go and let him be with someone that's going to love him and not do the dirty behind his back

I think you and your cheating "soul mate" deserve each other, running around cheating on your partners .. pffft whatever

And nice try shifting the blame on to him as your justification for hooking up with someone else, shame on you

and justifies it

[vashti]

I don't get it. What's keeping you with your boyfriend? You don't like him, it seems, you aren't married, and you didn't mention kids. What are you thinking?

[Sunnybeach7]

I don't know what you mean by risky? Risky in what way?

Being protective in itself is not possessive, nor an un-admirable quality. The guy is obviously not a winner when it comes to special occasions... but what else does he make you feel?

What your friends and family think of him is irrelevant. What matters is what YOU think of him. If you are thinking you want him, then you likely will not want to be getting as close as you have already gotten to this other guy. If you are thinking you don't want him, then you need to let him go, so he can move on.

[Cinnabella]

That's the result of male n female friendship? :-)