Confused, hurt, what should be the next step?

[Altde]

Good day to all.

Last night I had a discussion with my GF about her not being too serious. She always talks to me like she's always joking. I know that's how she rolls but it sometimes gets to me because I don't know if she is telling the truth of just pulling my leg.

I am over 40 and have occasional ED. I have used ED medications and it works for me. I took Cialis 1hr before we became intimate last night and it did not seem to work well. My GF said that she finished and a few minutes later she took it back and said she didn't. But what really got me was our conversation after. She is able to have multiple orgasms. Up to 4 at one time. I told her that normally a man only can have one at a time and needs rest to have another one(exceptions apply of-course). She said: "No, I know men that can have one after the other. You are just old." OMG, That HURTS. Why does she have to rub it in. So I told herthat's why I take ED medications, to make sure that I can keep up with her. And then she said:"Younger men don't need ED meds".

Is she trying to imply that she wants to go with a younger man? I read and research as much as I can to be able to meet her expectation. I am 10 years older than her.

I love her but if she is not longer satisfied, I want her to be happy.

Need advice please.

[80r]

1. Hold in your orgasms.
2. Go down on her. (get good at it)
3. Eat healthier

[Sunnybeach7]

I'm not sure what she wants or expects from you. You are not old. Even if you were, that is some really crappy stuff to say to someone you are supposed to love.

And that crap that she knows men that can have one after another is bogus. Next time she says that crap to you, tell her that perhaps she should go and be with "those" guys then.

I really don't believe she was joking, and if she was she has a truly ignorant sense of humor.

The only advice I could really give you, if you want, is to have a talk with her about what it is she wants from you in bed...and convey your feelings about how hurtful she has been with you.

[vashti]

It's true that younger men have a shorter refractory period, and compared to a 20 year old, I suppose you ARE old (and probably more skilled a lover, too, at least I would HOPE so). I am just trying to imagine under what circumstances I would tell this to my lover, and I can't think of one. It's cruel. She sounds like she is mad about something. How frequently are you having problems keeping up?

You might want to think about finding someone more sexually compatible.

[Altde]

Thank you for all your advice.

Yes, I do go down on her. A lot. She get to the point where she is going to have an orgasm but she stops me because she tells me that she does not want it in my mouth, she only want it when I am inside. Then of-course, all my work goes down the drain because she need to start over again. We have been together for 3 years, maybe she just got tired of how I do "IT".

There are times that I do keep up. At an average, she has 2-3 orgasms each time in the 20-30min that we do it. But lately(approx in the last 4 months), she's been having a hard time climaxing. Then she blurts out those stupid ass comments and jokes. Just gets to me after I try so hard.

I had a talk with her before. I told her that you can tell me I'm fat, ugly, lumpy, stinky, etc. but there are some things that gets to me, and her "young men" jokes is one of them. But did she stop? NOOOO!

Oh well. Just taking it one day at a time.

[Kaius]

You are not old per se, but you might be too old for her sexually. She is at her prime in terms of sexuality (30s). She must want it more often than younger or older women. If you want to satisfy her, you need to make yourself more physically fit. If you are fat, lose the weight. If you lack endurance, do cardio. Younger men are less experienced, but can hump forever. I am 36, and recently discovered that I can skip my refractory period. This came about when I lost 40 pounds and became more fit than ever before.

[Regnent]

Oh, this is good. Double standards for the win on this one.

If this had been a woman commenting how a guy was saying cruel things, like you're too old, or hey, younger women are better in bed, many of the replies here would be 'He's an asshole, go find someone worthy of your time'.

Fact is, she's being mean and cruel, jokingly or not. There's no need to pick on your partners medications, it's uncalled for and beyond anything I would deem acceptable.

While she may well be jonezing for some serious sex and performance, there's no need to take it out on you. Her negative comments only tell me she's not interesting in improving the sexual relationship as a couple.

[Sunnybeach7]

She's having a harder time reaching orgasm? Could be natural...but then the problem would be on her end, not yours. I know that certain areas can become less sensitive and create this kind of problem.

When you go down on her, I wouldn't give a crap what she says, keep going until she orgasms. If she pulls away, so be it. End the session, at least you will not have worked so hard to be insulted.

If she is whining about not getting orgasms, then she has to be willing to get them where she can. It seems like she is being a real spoiled brat and is not giving any consideration to your feelings at all.

If she would continue with this behavior, I would stop the sex for at least a week. It would give her the chance to decide whether she will appreciate you, or truly wants to exchange the relationship for "better sex" (?) with someone else.
I would not allow her to treat you in this manner.