Losing my unborn child. Cheated on. Rejected.

[declare]

I dated a girl for about two years. We had incredible moments together. Of course many arguments here and there, but who doesn't deal with that in a relationship? Everything changed once we found out that we were going to have a child. Mind you, she always told me that she came from a strong Catholic background, where abortions are a big no no.

Anywho, she leaves to her country 3 days after finding out she was pregnant. While gone, I'm looking at rings, apartments, a small part-time job on the side for extra cash. She would call me and sound so distant. She wasn't herself. I figured it was because of the pregnancy, but I was wrong(?). She came back recently and told me that she did not want to be with me. She was dumping me! Why? Because I "did not want to have to child." She assumed this because I was angry at her for leaving to another country 3 FREAKIN' DAYS after we found out we were gonna be parents. She perceived that the anger = I don't want to have the child.

I looked passed that and still asked her to marry me. Proclaiming that I understood that it was a difficult time for the both of us, and we would make it through together. She stood strong, looked me in the eye, and told me that she cheated on me with her "first love." When I asked her about the child, she said that "she was trapped in her own body." She called me a day later to tell me that Friday is when she will have the abor... done.

I am so sad. Not sure how to handle this situation. Any advice?

[hello1]

This girl cheated on you while pregnant with your baby, she also doesn't want to be with you so much that she is getting an abortion. I say you had a very lucky escape!!

[maxplank]

I agree with hello1. She must have been seriously thinking about leaving you before this happened, and these events just helped push her make her final decision. It's her loss, because you were willing to commit, and take responsibility. It was her first love she went back to, so she must have a strong connection with him. With all respect, I say it's probably best for her and you that she doesn't keep the baby.

[Anturo]

She confessed to cheating. RED FLAG #1

She leaves after she finds out. RED FLAG #2

You get angry at her easy. RED FLAG #3

You are not ready for a child (you said you needed to pick up a second job, means your not financially ready) RED FLAG #4

When was the time frame of this cheating? Possible RED FLAG #5

Is it even your baby? Do you know? Possible RED FLAG #6

Just a few things to consider.

I'm thinking hello1 is right.

You came away from this accident with just a scratch.

Next time drive more careful.

[Sunnybeach7]

Yeah... TALK TO HER before this happens. It is a must. You have to put all your feelings about what you feel and what you want on the table. After that, it is her decision. If she still decides to take the action she has chosen, then it is probably best you get away from her...far away.

You will not want to take her back after something like that. You will be way too hurt and possibly risk it happening again.

If you can get her to put off the abortion for even a little while, like a week, that can give you two possibly enough time to talk things through.

[declare]

Thanks for the advice guys!

I absolutely loved the "drive more careful" line. :]

Though it's a terrible feeling to know that someone I cared about so much could do such a thing, I am glad to have learned of all this before an actual child became involved.

She is getting the abortion tomorrow. I will be there. Once everything is all set and done, I will get away... far far away from her.

Again, thank you guys for the straight forward responses.