Hello, people!
I’m writing here as I am seeking for your help and advice. Me and my boyfriend are together for almost 2 years, and we are both 22 years old. We get on well, often spend time with each other, love each other, but… my boyfriend is reluctant to rent a flat together after quite a long relationship. He said these are the reasons:
1.He gets low salary, but for already 3 years he’s been living separately from his parents who almost don’t support him financially. So he’s used to restricting his needs for tasty food clothes, etc. I also have a job and earn even less money than he does, and I’m still living with my parents. He claims that I’m used to all bills being paid for me, so I’d be shocked if I had to make living with such a low salary (my parents are going not to give me money anymore if I left their home as they’d consider me as an independent person).
2.He says that as I‘ve never tried to live alone, I have no experience in an independent life and may not manage to cope with problems such life brings. He’s afraid that I may stack my problems on him, and he doesn’t wish it. He’s now offering me to rent a flat alone for at least 3 months, and during that time he’d watch how my new life is going decide whether I’m capable to live with him. But damn, I earn so little money that I’d fall into nearly poverty if I rented a flat alone! I have no opportunities to get a better job now as I’m a student.
3.He knows that I’m very sensitive person who easily gets upset, so I may fall into deep depression and not be able to revive for a long time if our common life was unsuccessful.
4.He says he isn’t sure enough whether we have a serious relationship or we’re together just for fun. I was devastated when I got to know about this as for all 2 years he’s been telling he loves me! Also, in my opinion, 2 years is enough time to become sure!
So I feel a complete mess in my soul. 4 months ago, he’d offered me to live with him, but changed his mind very soon and told me about these 4 conditions I wrote above. I am so angry with him for giving me false wills! Also, his behavior is very strange for me because all couples of my friends started or are starting living together without any conditions-these people just find flats and rent them, and that’s all! And most of them don’t have high income! I don’t understand why my boyfriend acts differently. Does he just want to save me from hardship? But earlier or later a couple must start creating a common life! Also, we’re planning to go abroad together after 1 year and stay there for a longer time. In my opinion, we must try to live together before this trip! But in 1 year I won’t find a high-income job! Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore, so he avoids to commit?