Is It Necessary To Tell Everything?

[alinden]

If you got back with your ex would you be honest with him/her about everything that happened b/w you and other people (sexually) while you were broken up? (even if its just a kiss?) Is this necessary information to share? I've always felt like being honest is best, but last time i was completely honest about everything that i had done he was not honest with me....

[Regnent]

Don't expect anything from an ex.
If they ask, answer, but don't go advertising crap.

Would you do that with a new BF?

[reeba]

'last time'??????? You mean you two have gone through breaks before?

No one. And I mean NO ONE. Should be given more than one break. And except in rare cases would I even consider getting back together with someone after just one break. Very often they are on a break because they want to check out someone else, because they think they can and deserve better than you.

Get ready for another break. Because this time you two are back together won't last either.

And to your questions - should you tell everything? NO!!! Unless rules were laid out on what was allowed during the break, it is understood that you will probably date, and dating often leads to, well you know what.

And again this is another reason why I wouldn't consider getting back together after a break. Once someone effs someone else, I think they made their decision that the previous relationship is totally over with.

[ASMD]

Ok if i was your ex, I would straight up ask you. And hopefully you would answer truthfully, but if he doesnt ask, it means he really doesnt want to know, so if he asks, answer, if not, dont...

[Michael Fulmer]

If a relationship is to have true meaning; to be something of any value; you would both want to be honest in all the matters that matter the most ;-)

You will have to gauge for yourself what such matters would be...

Openness and honesty are important, but so is sensitivity to the other. If asked, you may give the outline, but perhaps not the details, just as an example.

All the best to you,

Michael

[xxazurexx]

If you want him to throw it back in your face that you sucked some guys dick and in a few months time, sure go ahead and spill the explicit details....
Very few guys can handle the fact that their partners have had sex with another man and if you give him 'explicit details, you also allow him to visually see the two of you in his head and he always will.

What you did before you met him and while apart, is 'nothing' to do with him and what he did is none of your business either.

And if he's a guy/girl who will fish for details and want to know every single detail, then he/she is liable to be the type who can't handle or deal with what you may have done and will throw it all up in your face eventually.

Why the heck people find it necessary and to introduce other people into their relationships, I can't figure out....

[ASMD]

If you want him to throw it back in your face that you sucked some guys dick and in a few months time, sure go ahead and spill the explicit details....
Very few guys can handle the fact that their partners have had sex with another man and if you give him 'explicit details, you also allow him to visually see the two of you in his head and he always will.

Sound kinda like your stereotyping... but I agree. Dont go into explicit details. If he asks if you slept with anyone, tell him. Dont go into unnecessary details.

But once he does have that knowledge, expect in a future fight for that to come out, especially if he didnt fool around when you two were broken up. I know i would use it in a fight, just to have more ammunition. Like if you get in a fight about him going for coffee with an ex, he will use the defense, "its still not as bad as you who F%$&S around shortly after we break up!"

I'd still say be straight up with him about it tho... (I know I'm basically saying you should plead guilty to a crime you'll get charged with later)

[noerrorsfound]

Both me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time while we were apart. At times I've thought of how things could've been, and it makes me sad we were apart a year and certain special moments like that are gone, but then I just remind myself that doing something for the first time doesn't make it any more special than any other time. It only saddens me because I suppose I feel sometimes as if I could've done something to keep our past relationship together, and thus the blame falls on me that everything didn't happen as perfectly as I had imagined.

[HeartIsAching]

No. "It's none of your business" is a perfectly acceptable boundary to establish.

[Darren Taylor]

The only thing I would demand to know is whether she slept with anyone while we were apart. I would need her to get tested again for STDs since she could have picked something up.

[girl68]

If he's asking because of what Darren here says, then yes you can tell him if you've slept with someone. But I would NOT be the least bit surprised if the idiot threw it in your face like all the others suggest. Just take a look at how many threads there are about guys being jealous freaks over a girls history. The feeling magnifies 10-fold if they were "on a break".

I'm in the DON'T TELL. Lying and divulging unnecessary information are completely different.

[smackie9]

The only thing I would demand to know is whether she slept with anyone while we were apart. I would need her to get tested again for STDs since she could have picked something up.

So you are saying she doesn't have protected sex? or trust her to what she tells you?

Just for that I wouldn't even venture the thought of getting back together.

[Darren Taylor]

So you are saying she doesn't have protected sex? or trust her to what she tells you?

Just for that I wouldn't even venture the thought of getting back together.

You can still get herpes and high risk HPV through condoms.

[Ric]

It's always a smart move to do an STD check with a new or newly back together partner. Specially if you want unprotected sex (which is always more pleasurable xD)