Confused

[Rit]

Hi there. Thanks for reading my post.
So, I met this girl in my class and got to know her a few months back. We became quite close to each other(well, at least i think so) and we talk a lot over the internet. Sometimes but rarely we talk in class because we sit too far away from each other. There was this one time she called me over the Skype and we chatted for around an hour. That was before i started to fall for her.
Recently, I started to have feeling for her and I tried asking her out but my plan failed. (I actually posted this on the forum before but I'm going to mention it again). Last week, I asked her whether she wants to join me for a movie. I started by asking her whether she watched the recent shows in the cinema and she replied saying that she's going to watch with her family. So, i did not ask any further. Then, i tried asking again the following day by text and i asked whether she's free on the coming Saturday. She said "Don' think so, why". I sort of freaked out and I texted her back saying that "It's ok, thought of asking you out for an outing with us (lied to her)".
When you start to fall for this girl, you would try to observe everything she does. So do i. During my lab session, i sat right across her. I couldn't help myself but to stare/look at her. She was keen and found out that i was staring at her so she told me not to stare and blocked my view with her books(the joking way).
And so, yesterday when i was in class, the arrangement of seats changed temporarily. I saw an empty space beside her friend so i moved there and I was 2 person away from her. I was there doing my assignments and tried not to look at her(i sound like a stalker). Oh by the way, she started to ignore me by talking less to me online and don't really talk to me in class anymore even though i pass by her. So, after class she wanted to walk out from the class and she has to pass by my place. So when she came to my place, I said hi to her but she replied me with an awkward hi. I sensed somethings wrong and i decided not to continue.
I'm so sorry for such a long post but what's she thinking? I was planning to ask her out this week but based on this I'm not sure whether i should do it.

[Rit]

I talked to her today and her reply was ok. I'm still able to feel the distant from her answer. =C

[UnknownSld]

Um, to be honest it is a possibility that she is a little creeped out. I would suggest backing off a little bit, act like you are a little busier than you are or better yet become busier. Say hi to her when you pass each other but leave it at that. Definitely do not stare at her and sit like you normally would on the other side of the room. Act like you do not notice her as much as you used to. It is called playing hard to get. By doing this, it is possible she will ask why you haven't really acknowledged her and she might start chasing you which is what you want. I am no genius when it comes to women, I have my fair share of hard times. But hopefully this helps a little more, good luck Rit.

[ladyluna85]

Awwwww ur sweet...if the girl likes u back and she is shy...she would be all over u online...and accepted ur invitation to hang out..but it seems like she is not interested and now u seem to annoy her so she is trying not to be rude eventually if u keep trying and she already likes someone she will think ur very annoying...i like it when guys try very very hard...in person i act like i dont care but on text and calls i act like i really care about him...u know i might not like the guy back but sometimes its nice to keep someone that likes u around in case u want to feel pretty lol...u know...but u wrote that even online she doesnt talk to u....try not to like her...u tried so far u did what u had to do...move on...good luck

[bloodtippedrose]

Theres a guy in my class who stares at me CONSTANTLY. I try to hid behind my computer monitor. It weirds me the hell out. He talks to me and hes a nice guy, and I would have asked him to study with me outside of school, but his staring really got to me and made me feel so awkward. He called me hun a few times texting which i dont like and he said he could teach me defense moves which I think is an excuse to touch me. I would have totally dug hanging out with him but Im over it now and would not consider hanging out with him due to the stalker vibe he puts out. I agree with UnknownSld, back off a bit before your chances are completely ruined and definitely restrain from staring at her. Hope its not too late for you, good luck!

[Rit]

Oh i see. It seems like i overdid it. I will have lab session again tomorrow. I hope I will be able to do what UnknownSld suggested although I'm pretty sure i can't. I'm going to sit opposite her tomorrow for 2 hours (fixed position), what should i do??

[bloodtippedrose]

Will power man, youve got to stop yourself when you catch yourself looking at her. The more you advance toward her the more shes going to want to back off, yet its possible that the more you back off the more intrigued she will be by you (unless shes past the point of no return and was put way off by your advances). I would try to not look or talk to her in class, it leaves a little mystery. Let her talk to you, and if she doesn't then give it a long while before you talk to her again. And when you do talk just talk about casual little things, not going out. If she brings up something that youd be interested in going to, you can say youre going to it because of this and that reason, but dont invite her along, if shes interested in going with you she will hint that she might see you there or that she wanted to go too.. be cool about situations that present themselves like that dont jump on them, it will make it seem like youre someone who she'd have fun around in a social situation instead of like a desperate guy trying to get a date with her.
Its hard to tell by your post if she was slightly put off by your invites before or if shes truly not interested in you. If you receive any looks from her or odd comments then post them so we can tell you what shes probably thinking! Be suave, ALOOF and funny!

[Lady Wisdom]

Its cute that you are newbie and all but you making a lot of mistakes and the kinds of mistake that creeps most girls out.. If you really want her, you need to start over.. I suggest changing up your looks a bit such as your hair cut, clothing,and the way you act in general. Let a month pass then start talking to her friends to get a feel what they are into. Next go out to place where the girl you like and her friend hangout. Let her see the new you having fun time with other people. If you do this right she going question her judgement and be drawn to you.

[bloodtippedrose]

I wouldn't change my personality to get a chick, especially when there's so many more people out there that are compatible with you and will love your personality just like it is, thats just me though. If I changed my style I'd just be lying to myself and lying to the person I was trying to get with.

[Rit]

I agree with bloodtippedrose. I wouldn't want to change my entire personality just to get a girl. Yes i would change if it's really bad. So, today during the lab session, i sat opposite her and i didn't even look at her once (maybe i glanced once or twice). I was busy asking questions and thinking about the work i had. After the lab session, we had a small talk. She was waiting for the teacher to finish answering another student's questions so i went up and started talking to her. To my surprised she's different this time. Her responses were good and she smiled when she talked. Probably its because i talked about school stuffs not personal things. We talked about the extra class she was supposed to attend and she told me why she doesn't want to go and so on. Overall, the conversation was great but it only lasted about 1 or 2 minutes i think.

[bloodtippedrose]

Good! Keep that up! you didnt stare at her, you kept the conversation short, and you didnt talk about personal things, the scenario couldn't have gone any better. Its cool that shes seemingly comfortable around you. Dont ruin it by asking her out again anytime soon. Are you sure she doesn't have a boyfriend?

[Rit]

Yeah she doesn't have a boyfriend. She told me that herself and she hasn't been in any relationships before. How should i confront her if she comes online?

[blinki]

Yeah she doesn't have a boyfriend. She told me that herself and she hasn't been in any relationships before. How should i confront her if she comes online?

confront her about what exactly? like you said when you spoke to her about classes and stuff, just act normally! that worked didn't it? try not to act too desperate, or you will push her away. just talk to her like you would any of your other friends. good luck!

[bloodtippedrose]

If youre talking about if she comes online during Instant Messaging then, just like in class, talk to her about anything just not about relationships or anything that sounds like you want to hang out with her. Also try to not always be the one to "hang up" last in an IM conversation, that way it doesn't seem like you're hanging on her every word, and dont always be the one to start the IM either. If youre always the one to have to start the conversation then start it sometimes but not everytime you see her online. If that makes sense. That way you dont look desperate to talk to her. Her never being in a relationship before is a huge clue in to why she doesnt seem comfortable when you make your advances, because she might be intimidated. How old is she I wonder?

[Rit]

Hm, thanks for advice!! She doesn't come online lately and i wonder if its because of me? She's 19 this year.