Whats He Thinking?

[valkerie]

Me and my ex broke up about five months ago after a year and a half. The last few months were REALLY rough cause he was doing an intership elsewhere and acting distant and I'd get pissed and jealous.

I finally called it off and then he wanted me back. But then a month later he told me he hated me and was way happier without me.

Since then we've been pretty much no-contact but I miss him a lot. I sent him an email, just polite and friendly. He's been responding back every few days and not just bs emails but talking about his life and frustrations and stuff. I think he isn't seeing anybody but I'm not sure (none of our friends know and he says he isn't but he could be lying.)

I always thought that if a guy is over you, he's totally done and never wants to talk again. Is my ex over me?? Why did he say he hates me and is happy without me but is now sending me long emails (no calls or texts) If I have a chance I want to keep talking to him but im afraid if I ask he'll think I'm being pushy!!! What do I do?

[sunflower77]

I don't think that people can just get over someone they have had a long-term relationship with so quickly. Emailing you could mean that he is still into you, even though he said he hated you, he could have said that in the heat of the moment and not really meant it at all, after all you broke up with him. However, he may not be interested in getting back together per se, maybe he just misses you and talking and sharing with you? Obviously, the only way to get a real answer to your question would be to discuss it with him or wait a little to see how things would develop.

[smackie9]

He is just using you for emotional support for you are familiar and comfortable......and because you let him use you. But once he meets someone else, you won't hear from him again.

[vertical_sky]

Who can figure guys out really? My ex seems to think I'm scum (yours might just be saying that, mine actually means it) and yet me and him have been emailing lately. You might want to not over analyze it and just enjoy it for what it is.

[devonbrown]

People in a long-term relationship develop bonds of friendship and comfort along with romantic feelings. His statement that he hated you was most likely his way of cutting all romantic ties with you, but friendship and comfort is harder to eliminate.

Why does it matter if he is dating someone else or not? Are you interested in getting back together with him? Because, if so, that is probably not the best idea given your history together.

However, if you are comfortable with friendship, continue with the emails and be glad that you have someone in your life who cares.

Good luck.