Helpful advice would be nice...

[OhHowLovely]

How can I get my boyfriend to take me more seriously? When we have a relationship problem, he doesn't want to talk about it. He'll just try to change the subject and move on.

And it bugs me now that his friend lives with him, so sometimes when we talk on the phone, he talks differently and won't say as much because his friend is around.

I also feel like he sometimes blames me for things. Like say I suggest we hang out at a bar to listen to music - he mentions how he doesn't want to spend money and also says that he never gets to do all of the things he wants to do throughout the day. Meaning, he could have finished what he wanted to do instead of going to the bar with me. Yet, when his friends suggest they all go out to the bar, he seems totally okay with it and doesn't even seem worried about the money situation. I suggest something nice for both of us to do together and he seems to complain about it.

What do you think? What do you think I should do/tell him?

[Bonfire]

So it appears you are not a priority in his life. He cares more about spending money with his buddies than you. If I am in your shoes, this is how i would handle it. I would give that person the cold shoulder treatment. I would not initiate any contact with him, no calling no texting, and if he calls, I would keep the conversation short, saying I'm busy with something. I would decline to go hang out too. I would do this until it bugs the heck out of them for them to confront me that there is a problem. That's when I say now you know how i feel when you rather spend time with your friends than me. This will be your moment to have an honest talk about your relationship and hopefully you two can work it out. Doing this will place your relationship on the line. But judging by what you say, your relationship is on shaky grounds. If he doesn't care and simply breaks up with you over it, then you have your answer why he doesn't take you seriously. He simply lost interest in you. And you can move on and find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated.

[OhHowLovely]

Yeah that's what I thought about doing, being less available to him. I'll try and do that. Thanks again for the advice. If anyone else has any input, I'm here to read. =)

[smackie9]

He is your typical guy. Take it from an old gal like me, men rather not deal with things because what is important to you isn't always to them. Guys are wired differently and it gets even worse when they get older, especially when you have been together as long as I have with my old man. When they want to spend more time with others than you that means you are letting him become too much of your world. Rather than expect him to entertain you, go out and have fun with your friends, maybe pick up an interest like indoor volleyball. So yes if he doesn't want to go with you, be kool about it and tell him "see ya later then". Less available is good, giving each other space is good, having a life outside the relationship is good.

[sweetkissesforu]

Become more independant do things you enjoy if this relationship then dont rely on a man for you entertainment he just might find time for you and him

[devonbrown]

Being happy with yourself and doing things in your life that are important to you are the main things to do and remember. I have said this before, but it is worth repeating here. Two people begin a relationship because they like who "Single Girl" and "Single Guy" are. However, once a relationship starts, Single Girl and Single Guy sometimes wind up becoming different people - "Relationship Girl and Relationship Guy." The problem is that Relationship Girl or Relationship Guy is not who the other person liked in the first place. And when this is realized by a member of the relationship, it makes the couple's situation all that more difficult to handle.
It sounds to me that your bf has realized that he is no longer the "same" as he was before he got into a relationship with you. And while he may truly love you and enjoy being with you, it sounds like he is looking to reclaim part of himself that he feels is missing.
Do your best to understand what he is trying to tell you, even though he may not be expressing it well. And again, do more things on your own for your own enjoyment. It may just help ease the imbalance you are feeling.

Good luck.

[OhHowLovely]

Awesome advice from everyone-very helpful! I hope to take it one day at a time and see what happens & today turned out pretty good w/out my hubby =)

[reeba]

First I can't believe you are upset that he talks differently when he is on the phone with you, and his friends might over hear. Of course he does!!! It is no longer a private conversation.

So he wants to have some $ to do his own thing, and he wants to hang out with his friends. Don't you want that do that for yourself too?

Yes he can take the above to the extreme and be selfish, but you need to take a step back and decide if you are being selfish too by wanting more time from him.

[OhHowLovely]

Okay I understand the phone situation and I'll just let that be and hopefully I won't let it bother me when it happens next time. I honestly don't think we hang out THAT much, I hang out with my friends & family a lot or have nice time to myself - my friends have bfs and they hang out with them more than I do with my bf. One of them even told me that it seems like my bf hangs out with his friends more but I honestly like how are relationship is going as far as hanging out with friends goes. I just don't like when all of a sudden I bring up a suggestion and he shoots it down. Like HELLO we really haven't gone out to have some fun in awhile. I just wish he would take the initiative too to suggest something and I tell him that. I WANT him to hang out with his friends.