Confused, need help!

[rsc_21]

I am happily married to my husband for the past 3 yrs and we love each other very much. Recently a new guy joined my office and I liked him from day one. He is married too and has a baby. We started talking and got close to each other and became good friends. I reached a point where I felt I really like him and cant stop thinking him. I think he feels the same way, the way he looks at me smiles at me, gives me all the classic signs that he likes me too! One day before leaving work I said I miss him and he says same here. Its giving me the feelings of a teenager again (butterflies in my stomach when, can't stop thinking about him even after work, stated dreaming abt him and all). We don't communicate after work though but I really want to but think it may not be good so stopped myself. I feel he thinks the same about me, gives me all the classic signs that he likes me (complimenting, smiling, touching me softly, you name it).

It kept going for a while and we reached a point where I just cant think about anything else apart from him. I thought I shld let him know tht I like him, so sent out a mail. He responded saying this isn't appropriate and its not mutual. I was like totally shattered, hurt and felt really bad. He said we cld be friends but I decided to cut all communication. So we didn't talk for 2 weeks (except a bit of work related stuff). Then it started again and we are back on track, cant really not talk when you work together (I know this is why ppl stop u from being involved with someone at work). I still feel the same about him, and I feel he does like me too. I think he just cant admit it even to himself) given the repercussions maybe but I can sense it all the time, if I don't stop by his desk in the mrng, he wld start complaining!

I think we can go on like this but feel guilty sometimes wondering if this is cheating with my husband, maybe. But I love my husband too much and can never think of leaving him. In all this my relationship to him has not changed a bit. But I still like this other guy and can't really stop thinking/dreaming abt him. M really torn what to do, can't think straight anymore. I tried but can't stop talking to this guy, maybe I love him maybe its just a crush, can't tell but I haven't felt like this for any co-worker before. Am I a bad person to let this happen to me, dunno. Please help......

[steviej]

Grow up and get over it. Put yourself in your husband's position and imagine him flirting and getting close to a work colleague. How happy about that would you be?

You run the risk of ruining two marriages. Stop the behaviour with this guy and get the spark back with your husband. Work on why things have gone stale with him, get some romance back into the marriage!
You married him for a reason, that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Nip this thing in the bud now!

[Bonfire]

I don't think he feels the same way about you at all. His email replied was honest from what I can tell. Everything you said about him is just your imagination playing tricks on you. You like him so much you read every little thing as signs that he likes you. He doesn't. Some people are just natural flirtatious by habit so it doesn't mean anything. I think you are being stupid right now and I feel bad for your husband who has no clue his wife is constantly dreaming about another man. I wish he never finds out cuz if I was him, I would dump you in a heart beat.

[steviej]

Agreed with bonfire, office flirting is fun and makes the day go faster, it sounds like this is all this guy was doing and you've read far to much into it.

[HeartIsAching]

Agreed with bonfire, office flirting is fun and makes the day go faster, it sounds like this is all this guy was doing and you've read far to much into it.

It's also sexual harassment. Has no business in a business environment.

You're both doing inappropriate things, however it's more an emotional entanglement on your part than it is on his. You really ought to break off communications except on a professional level - and tell him you're doing so. Your husband (that you claim to love) doesn't deserve this.