I just dont know what to do

[Queentee]

So i met this guy last year and weve only started going out .I really like him and he likes me too but the problem is he just doesnt make an effort .hes 25 years old and hes a virgin .hes has never been in a long term or proper relationship so i kinda get the feeling he just doesnt know what to do or what to say .i told him that i dont see much effort from him and he said hes not really experienced .and i do believe it .What should i do ?should i give him time or should i just let it go bcoz im not happy at all its long distance as well.We dont really speak much either ,im just feeling like theres something missing ,hes a really nice guy thou.he doesnt call much ,doesnt reply my msg sometimes ,when we are on the phone we speak for like 10 mins ,he doesnt try to stretch a phone convo im always the 1 asking questionS etc , He doesnt tell me all the sweet things i wanna hear lol WHAT SHOULD I DO .

[Mimi_B]

Move on. If you're not happy and you have told him and there's still no effort coming from him
then it's not worth it to stick around. Maybe you two can just be friends.
Beside for a long distance relationship to work both partners need to put in an effort,
it should always feel like there's two people holding up the relationship not just one.
Be happy, do what what makes you happy. It's always what is most important. =)

[forallofthis]

It doesn't seem worth it.. seems like the relationship is more torture than it is enjoyable. You should find someone you can look forward to talking to.

[Yet another guy]

Well, you've only started going out and he's never been in a proper relationship. Maybe he hasn't learned to let people close easily and isn't comfortable with you yet. Time should help with that or getting him deeper into the relationship. The long distance is a hinderance in this case and makes it harder to use a great tool for that which women have, which is sex. Guys have this connection between sex and affection and taking his virginity will probably change his behaviour a lot making the relationship much more passionate which might just be that "something" which you feel is missing.

You have a feeling that he doesn't know what to do or say. That makes very much sense. Only way to know that is experience or a mind reading, both of which he lacks. Maybe you should tell him what are all the sweet things that you want him to say, how often and why. Again, the long distance thing makes it harder for him to see your positive response on the sweet talking which is required for making the connection to learn this by heart. Anyway, my point is that he probably needs your help with this.

About you not speaking enough, maybe he has an introverted personality. That might be either the cause or the effect of him never having a proper relationship. If it is the effect it'll probably go away with time. Otherwise - if it is too big a problem for you - you two are just incompatible. Of course there are other reasons too. Maybe he is like me and prefers to talk in person, which makes the long distance a problem. About not replying to messages, they're easy to miss.

His problem may by any or several of the above or something completely different like for example that he is anxious about getting into a long distance relationship (but still going for it since he is probably desperate by the age of 25).

So, to sum up what I think you should do: Talk to him about this and teach him what you want him to say. Have sex with him. If after some time you still feel like dumping him, do it. Moving closer to each other would obviously make it much more likely for the relationship to succeed but it's too much of a risk to both of you I presume.

[Queentee]

thanks watchu said makes sense

[xxazurexx]

I agree with Mimi. A relationship takes TWO people to make it work and the early days are when we are talking and getting close.....or should be.

If there is no communication or very little, how are you supposed to get to know each other?

I'd be looking elsewhere and if I was having to talk about issues, so early on in a relationship.