How do I fix this?

[Michellec]

TO make a long story short.
He was desperately persuing me, he literarly texted me 10 days aday and if I didnt respond he text again to ask whats up!
After a couple dates, I gave it and started to get a major crush on him.
But than I made a mistake by starting to pursue him!
Our texts went from 10 times a day to 2 a week. and after a while he even stopped replying my texts.

So..yes I'm aware.. he LOST INTEREST BECAUSE OF MY ''NEEDYNESS''
SO! now I decided to pull back... and stop contacting him for a good amount of time.

My question is...how long should I ''dissapear'' and if I want to initiate contact in a while.
How do I start? I certainly dont want him to think ''Oh she's back...''

I dont want to seem needy or desperate anymore..
But dont want to lose him, I want to give it ONE LAST SHOT.

[Love&Life]

I know this is all a game between men and women, but it makes me really tired... "Why is this necessairy?" I ask myself.

Ok to your practical question: 1 month, but there is 1 condition. Make yourself as happy as possible. Make yourself feel good. Then the needy aura around you will disappear and people will be attracted to a happy you.
And maybe this guy as well.

Keep us posted!

[donidian41]

Why don’t you try to face him and talk to him directly. You can’t guess his feeling. Just be honest about your feeling, say it to him and he doesn’t want to go back to you, at least you don’t need to waste your time to wait the right moment. If he loves you, he will back to you no matter who start first. If he doesn’t love you anymore, then leave it and forget it. Start for new beginning.

[robFord]

Wait it out for a set amount of time, a couple weeks or so to evaluate how you really feel. After that time passes and you are 100% sure you still want him, contact him to meet in person. Be open and honest when you see him, don't go overboard with "I LOVE YOU OMG!" but be true to your feelings and gauge his. If he's not interested at all, then you have your answer and you can start to move on. You can't force someone to be into you, but what you can do is work on being happy yourself and maybe they will see it and realize what they are losing. If not, who cares? You're already on your way to being happy =)

[am_i_serious?]

Michellec, I have a similar story. I was getting 20 texts a day, asking me everything, telling me when he was lighting a smoke or playing golf, he was full on. Then 10 days later or there abouts, once I started reciprocating dates, sleep overs etc, he gradually changed his texts to quite general and impersonal. He was always text in the morning, and say good night but was never the same, I hung on for about a week and a bit.....anyway, bone of contention for me,

I confronted him over it and he said he doesnt know why but doesnt feel the same anymore. There really is no point in going beyond that.
If he wanted to contact you and thought about you he would. Your concern is well founded. Sorry, maybe im not the most encouraging person right now. But if they want to text they will. Have the conversation face to face with him and prepare yourself for the answer. Best of luck, a really crappy situation to be in.

[Yet another guy]

He may have stopped pursuing you because he has leared from the dates that you don't live up to his high standards. Or maybe someone has told him that you used to be a slut. Or maybe he realized that he is gay. Or maybe he had just broken up, regrets having you as a rebound and is trying to get back with his ex. Or maybe he is depressed. Or maybe... there are a million reasons why he may has lost his interest. I don't think that losing interest because of partners "needyness" is likely, though you didn't specify how needy you were. Pursuing someone is generally not a mistake unless you have no interest in him.

Sure go ahead and play your waiting game but know that there's no guarantee that he'll be any more interested afterwards. If you insisted to talk about it with him instead you might just learn why he has lost interest and then either fix it if possible or just end the relationship for good.

ps. Maybe he considers texting as a pre dating flirt technique? Has he no interest in going to dates either?