Is there a future?

[jb1111983]

There's this girl in her mid 20s I met 5 months ago. She is from Iran and came here to do a 3 month internship with us. Right from the moment I first saw her I knew I was gonna fall in love with her. I didn't pay much attention to her that way for a month but we clicked on well as friends. Then one day I realised I actually liked her more than a friend. And this feeling began to grow with each passing day. The more I got to know her the deeper I fell for her. But I knew she didn't think of me that way. She always said I was a good friend a brother to her. I thought of keeping quiet about my feelings for her but it was hard. And she was gonna leave in less than 2 months. so I finally decided to tell her my feelings before it was too late. And as expected she was taken aback. She said she never thought of me that way. I said fine. Then she started avoiding me like most girls in her situation would do. It took me 2 weeks or so to gain her trust again. Great. Then she got sick and fainted once. When she opened her eyes I stood there in front of her as if saying I'm by your side and wouldn't let anything happen to you through my eyes. There were other people too but she looked at me most of the time.
She's a very polite girl and would smile a lot but I could tell she was in pain and missing home. Seeing her in pain made me sad. I don't know how but that's when I realised that every time she was feeling down I always knew how to make her feel good again through words and actions. And each time she'd look at me in amazement. She began to like my company again. And this time she never mentioned the word brother again. On my birthday she was the first to wish me in the morning. She looked happier than me that day. And the day came for her to leave this place. I gave her a card and a chocolate. I began with a 'dear x I always knew this moment would come. I'm happy I met you...' a mutual friend was with her in the car that took her to another city where she was gonna spend another 5 days before flying home. This mutual friend later told me that she cried reading the card I gave her.
I thought I would not see her again. That parting was a painful one for me. Then out of the blue I get told that I have to go to that city for some work. Wow! And off I went. Met up with her again. We spent 2 days together during which she hugged me 3 times. She rarely hugs people esp a man. And she no longer resisted when I'd show her affection. I could tell she liked it when I complimented her or stare at her or say some romantic lines to her. Once I caught her staring at me I stared back at her and we both smiled. That stare lasted for no less than 2 minutes.
I went to see her off at the airport. I got us cold coffee and she kept licking her lips. Some Iranian people came and talked to her in Farsi. She told me they thought we were a couple and smiled while saying this. One last hug and the girl I love was gonna leave for Iran and I didn't know I'd see her again. As she headed for the departure gate I said 'is it ok if I come see you in Iran?' she couldn't hear me and came back. I repeated myself and she said yes and winked. And then she was gone. It's been 2 months since and she's sent 17 emails so far. I think she likes me but am not sure. I don't want to screw up what we have going on right now. She sometimes asks me if there's any girl in my life. I say no. I'll be seeing her again in 3 months. I think she's also excited about it. Do you thing there's any hope for me with this girl? I love her even if she's never gonna love me in return but I won't be in her life either if she wants to be with someone else. I'd rather her be happy with someone else than be unhappy with me. Your thoughts on this please. Thanks. And sorry about the length.

[queenofheartsNY]

Yes!

It sounds like she likes you but knowing she wouldn't be there permanently in your country, she was cautious to get into anything serious.

The fact that she is contacting you still and will see you in 3 months means she does like you, if even as a friend. To me it seems like something more and she's just probably on the shy side. You sound a bit intense though; ease up and make things light and fun.

Good luck!

[jb1111983]

Thank you! made me smile.

That's what I think too or she wouldn't contact me when she's so aware of my feelings for her. And yeah she's the shy type too. But I don't know for sure. It will be terrible if at the end she says she only likes me as a friend! I sure wanna be a friend but not the kind who'll be comfortable seeing her with another man.

And yeah I agree I gotta make things light and fun. I can't do much from here anyway. I'm not the funniest guy but I think she likes my weird sense of humour. Yay!

[smackie9]

Here is the deal. Girls can get emotionally attached to a guy without any sexual attraction. When guys get emotionally attached, like yourself, they become sexually attracted.That is the difference with guys and girls. So guys, like yourself, mistake a girl's emotional attachment as sexual attraction, when it's not. And I have to say this is what your situation is. Dude, when a girl wants you real bad, they waste no time letting you know loud and clear. Girls are not subtle about sexual attraction. Basically girls are attention whores. If a shy guy, like yourself, gives them the attention they will take it because they feel their in no sexual obligation. In the emails I bet there is nothing intensely sexual in them am I right? Just "I miss you", blah blah stuff. That isn't a girl that is sexually attracted to you. She misses the emotional attention you gave her and she is going through withdrawal. I can bet money on it that in a few months you will find out she has a BF. It happens all the time dude.

[smackie9]

Tip: Never be friends with a girl you want to date. If you feel attracted to someone, ask then out right away....don't wait like 2 months. If they say no, then you've saved yourself a boat load of heartache. If you are looking for love, don't invest your feelings to anyone you are not in a relationship with....it's a time waster, and you miss out on other opportunities because you are too preoccupied on something that probably will never happen. So even tho you like this girl, always keep your options open and keep your focus on you and your own life.

[jb1111983]

Here is the deal. Girls can get emotionally attached to a guy without any sexual attraction. When guys get emotionally attached, like yourself, they become sexually attracted.That is the difference with guys and girls. So guys, like yourself, mistake a girl's emotional attachment as sexual attraction, when it's not. And I have to say this is what your situation is. Dude, when a girl wants you real bad, they waste no time letting you know loud and clear. Girls are not subtle about sexual attraction. Basically girls are attention whores. If a shy guy, like yourself, gives them the attention they will take it because they feel their in no sexual obligation. In the emails I bet there is nothing intensely sexual in them am I right? Just "I miss you", blah blah stuff. That isn't a girl that is sexually attracted to you. She misses the emotional attention you gave her and she is going through withdrawal. I can bet money on it that in a few months you will find out she has a BF. It happens all the time dude.

That's a possibility too. She likes the attention I give her. I once ignored her for one whole day and the next morning she smiled at me and talked nicely to me. Yeah they crave for your attention when you ignore them even if they don't wanna give in to you. However I think I've made it very clear to her that I cannot be her brotherly friend. A brother wouldn't flirt with her! lol I don't know maybe she'll get a BF in a few months. Well, that's fine. Can't make her love you. Sad but true. And when she finds someone it will be "Thanks for everything, x, goodbye!" And it won't be the first time for me to do that. But until that happens I'm not sure I should give up hope. I don't know. Would appreciate any thought/ idea/ suggestion from anyone. I sure would like to know how it ends.
And thanks for the tip!