He never keeps his words to call

[happycow]

I am in a LD thing which is annoying. Since I have known this man, he seldom keeps to his words to call back. Many times he said he will call back tomorrow, even during the infatuation period, but he was tied up with many things/jobs that he called back 3 or 4 days later.

Now sometimes when he said he will call back in a few days time/tomorrow/a few weeks time, he never keeps his words. I have to wait 4 weeks or more. He can't even remember his words. He wants to take it slow though as he is getting over ex. During those times when he did not call back as said, I have to call him and most of the time he was glad that I called.

But I am getting annoyed that he does not keep his words. Every time he calls back, there are sweet talks like i miss you or teasing me. I don't want to bring it up as an issue, but lately I don't feel well about it.

I have vented about it since the start of the friendship, he also apologized. I was getting angry. He noticed my tone. But he never changed. This is the only annoying thing he has for me. Apart from that, because I told him I could not afford LD phone bills, he suggested me to just call in, and then he will call back, which he has done for me, though a 40 minutes promise becomes a 4 hours promise. So my phone bill is only a dollar or so.

I am caught up in frustration and appreciation. Please help.

[smackie9]

I feel since this is a LDR, he is probably not wanting to invest too much into it because of that. Men need the physical part of a relationship and so since he can't have that it's not worth all the effort. You only have two options here.....move closer to him so you can be together physically all the time or end it.

[happycow]

He could have asked for physical connection if he wants to. I never decline it.

[smackie9]

Well there could be a possibility he is married or has a GF. It's a tell tale sign when phone calls are not being made. Either that or he doesn't meet your expectations for a relationship. If he is not willing to put forth equal attention then there is no point in continuing.

[smackie9]

I've had a relationship where my BF was not very available to me physically or emotionally.....so after about 3 weeks I dumped him. I just chalked it up as a waste of time.

[smackie9]

If the relationship will not progress to where it should be, why keep at it? All you are doing is beating a dead horse. It's just better to find someone who is on the same page as you. You are better than this.

[happycow]

I don't think he has a GF. I can ask, but I doubt he has one. He was just too busy right from the start. And I still feel for him, I don't think this is time to dump him. May be until I cannot bear it anymore. But I still want to hear his explanation.

From my experience, people usually behave their best from the beginning. If he was already like that right from the beginning, I think he is always like that. Is it his usual way of saying things?

I complained to him on Friday, and at the end of the conversation, he almost said I will ..... and then stopped. Like before, he wouldl say I will call back tomorrow. But he stopped there. And later at night, the message left was I will call back. But no calls whatsoever since then. He has always been like that. Other things he can keep, but his words to call could never be kept.

However, there is a point in asking, if he does want to continue?

[smackie9]

Do you have a low self esteem issue? As I pointed out he isn't living up to your expectations. Why ask him again about it? You pretty much already got your answer....he isn't going to do it. Just because you have feelings for him doesn't mean you need to keep this relationship. You are not being treated the way you want....you shouldn't be asking him if he wants to continue, you should be asking yourself if YOU should continue. Personally I don't think he's gonna cry over you saying goodbye.

[happycow]

I don't have a low esteem issue, but I have health issue that I cannot explode now, or to experience extremen emotional roller coaster of sadness, madness or anxiety or depression. I want to wait till I feel stronger in myself that I can blow on him to stop this altogether. Right now, I need peacefulness. I remember it was not wise to just explode or experience extreme emotions when I was separating from my ex. I just became worse physically. I am just buying myself more time. Thats it.

But I wonder for what reasons he is keeping me if he can't get anything physcial? For what reasons he is still happy to chat with me? To boost his ego, to woo me into something (which I won't be so stupid now), or for what? To make himself believe that someone is still waiting for him? wanting him? thinking of him? caring about him? The point is, if he does not have time for it, then why continue?

[Bonfire]

If someone has a habit of not keeping their promises, it's pretty much over between us. I don't like untrustworthy people. I went through it once with this girl who always says to me I'll txt you later and never does. I found out she was seeing another guy the same time she was seeing me. I already saw the red flags early on so I did not bother txting her either. Then she txts me one day to go see a movie and I basically told her it's over. Felt good and I didn't waste anymore time with these types of people. I still bump to her sometimes and she feels a bit uneasy when she sees me. lol

[smackie9]

I don't have a low esteem issue, but I have health issue that I cannot explode now, or to experience extremen emotional roller coaster of sadness, madness or anxiety or depression. I want to wait till I feel stronger in myself that I can blow on him to stop this altogether. Right now, I need peacefulness. I remember it was not wise to just explode or experience extreme emotions when I was separating from my ex. I just became worse physically. I am just buying myself more time. Thats it.

But I wonder for what reasons he is keeping me if he can't get anything physcial? For what reasons he is still happy to chat with me? To boost his ego, to woo me into something (which I won't be so stupid now), or for what? To make himself believe that someone is still waiting for him? wanting him? thinking of him? caring about him? The point is, if he does not have time for it, then why continue?

He is just using you for the attention on his own terms and that isn't really a relationship. I'm so sorry you suffer so much to the point it affects you physically as well. I suggest you find solace in a support group of those who suffer the same as you do. I'm sure there are forums you can visit as well. I feel it would be more therapeutic for you to chat with others and get the support to get you through this difficult time in your life and maybe some advice on treatments, etc. I know of a video on youtube that might be able to help you deal with these issues. here's a link [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kacZ7eWpe8k]YouTube - Change your Brain Change Your Life 1 of 7[/url] This guy specializes in mind and body and it's connection to a healthier life.