Working with ex situation becoming intolerable

[mrman256]

Hi guys,

I've been on this forum before and if you look in my history you will see a couple of posts about the same subject.

Anyway this girl broke up with me over a year ago now and we still work together at uni and I can't change classes or anything. We havent spoken in a year. I tried to be civil at first but she wouldnt even give me a hello. She wouldnt let me talk to her. Now I just avoid her as much as possible, I'll take the long route round on campus to try and prevent meeting her.

However I go to the bar sometimes with my mates and I'm minding my own business and I'll get a load of abuse thrown at me and get told to **** off and stuff. I go to the cafeteria and I get loads of bad comments there as well. When she's with her boyfriend he looks like he wants to tear my head off.

Whats worse is now she has started to bring her boyfriend into my class and its getting very uncomfortable.

I've emailed her recently apologising for any mistake I have made and told her not to reply to it but that has made it worse apparently (before she started bring her bf in class) I shouldn't of had to apologise in the first place because I didn't do anything wrong like cheat on her or anything, I just got a bit upset after she dumped me by text and then slagged me off behind my back. I think its fair enough if a few harsh words got exchanged at that point.

However, after a year or so of swallowing my pride and keeping quiet I've had enough of her childish behaviour. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it who I know without some sort of drama kicking up.
I've just emailed my tutor about people going into class who shouldnt be there but I havent gone into specifics or anything just trying to be professional but I doubt they will do anything.

Now I feel like I'm on the verge and I'm going to do something stupid but I won't let her get to me like that and go down to her level. It's keeping me up till four in the morning and I'm getting very depressed and I'm becoming increasingly bitter.

Any help?

[mrman256]

anyone? need some advice on this.

[mrman256]

Ha? I'm confused, why can't she bring her new bf to class???

You should ignore what she's doing, coz she seems not doing wrong.

Cinnabella I don't think you have read the post properly. Anywhere I run into them I recieve antagonisation. Like I said whenever her boyfriend is about he looks like he wants to start a fight with me. Its a bit easier to tolerate when its outside class, but if its going to go on when Im trying to work, its not going to work out well. It would be fine if they were both mature about it but the fact is their not and I'm getting to the end of my tether.I'm not going to be pushed about in my own workspace, especially when he's not even on the course or even goes to the uni.

She knows it gets to me cause everytime she does stuff like this she has a dirty smirk on her face and I'm getting pretty tired of her bs. Clearly she's still got a hang up about something because otherwise she wouldnt do this kind of stuff.

[Ric]

In all honesty...
Grow some balls and treat her like shit.
If you truly did nothing bad, she is acting like a complete bitch and for some reason made her boyfriend to hate you, too. You shouldn't have to deal with such petty shit. It's been a year. She needs to grow up and leave you alone.
And as I said, you need to grow some balls and mostly just ignore her, and if she messes with you simply be like "Just **** off bitch"

I'm not normally for this kind of behavior, but it seems acting nice doesn't work one bit.

[mrman256]

Cheers thanks. Sometimes I feel like I should act that way but I just want to walk away from it. I've tried to be civil, I've tried to ignore her. Hopefully she's leaving in a couple of months anyway so hopefully nothing will happen between this point and then, though I doubt it.

[steviej]

Who is giving you abuse? Her or the boyfriend (when in the bar etc)?
You need to put a stop to this now, being submissive is not helping. Do your friends know what's going on? Maybe a bit of confrontation is actually needed - tell her to wind her neck in and get over it. He's giving you evil looks? Talk to him - tell him you want nothing more to do with her and ask him to tell her to get over you.
She'll blow up when she hears this - at which point you can ask her why she's going out of her way to make things awkward if she's moved on?

[mrman256]

Hi there, I've got friends who know of the situation. I cant really ask for anything from them other than to get my back I don't want to drag them into it. Both of them can be quite aggressive. I'm not talking to him he doesnt seem like the type who would appreciate me saying his girlfriend is not over me. I don't know its just one massive question mark. If they say anything now though I will not take kindly to it.