I need some outside advice

[Scara]

I am a 21 year old college grad who lives with her boyfriend of 3 years. I need some outside advice on how to resolve my list of issues:

i feel like i ruin everything
have low self-confidence
get defensive quickly
don't want to admit to stupidity
never think before i do or say things
have a hard time apologizing
stress over small things
mountains out of mole hills
low self-esteem
have low interest in things i used to love
have no girlfriends
act like a child
cry during arguments
too many mood swings
afraid to try new things
afraid of failing
afraid of trying
make life harder for myself and relationship
wait till last minute to do things
have a hard time showing happines
can't stop chewing my nails out of nervousness
can't stop twirling my hair looking like a child

I feel all mixed up and these issues I'm having are making my life more difficult and putting a really big strain on my relationship.

[Spring Haze]

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder]Borderline Personality Disorder[/url]
Do the symptoms resonate at all?

[AirbenderAang]

The biggest thing is you sound like a depressed person. Depressed people usually have low self-esteems and that is clearly your biggest issue. Low self-esteem is a common thread that runs through about half your list of problems. In fact, many of your problems are just repeats. You are dwelling on all the negatives and you have blown them up to massive proportions. Besides the low self-esteem everything else sounds like it isn't that big a deal. Okay maybe you act a little impulsive at times, and you are not the best planner. There is a very good chance that once your self-esteem improves you will become a better planner. The same is true for your defensiveness, anxiety, unpredictable moods, and self-isolation.

In order to get better, your best bet is to go see a therapist. They can set you on a path to feel and act remarkably better in only a few weeks. If you refuse to see a therapist I can offer a few basic suggestions that can help depressed people.

1)Start engaging activities that make you feel good about yourself. At first you are going to have to force yourself, to do those activities but the more you work at it, the better you will feel about yourself.
2)Also you can try exercising regularly.