Went through bfs phone and now he is keeping secrets from me!! Am I in the wrong here

[MrE]

He's probably not over his ex. However, snooping is very bad as well. It either shows your insecurity, or it shows that you might be hiding something yourself, neither one being attractive.

[smexygirl89]

I am not hididng anything. I would quite happily give him my passwords and phone. I hate cheating i have never done it and never will. I spose just through past experiences with other men has made me suspicious. Particularly if I know there are other women possibly on the scene. I am a one man type of woman.

[MrE]

I am not hididng anything. I would quite happily give him my passwords and phone. I hate cheating i have never done it and never will. I spose just through past experiences with other men has made me suspicious. Particularly if I know there are other women possibly on the scene. I am a one man type of woman.

I believe you, totally. I've just known quite a few people that cheat on their significant other, and then turn around and accuse their significant other of cheating - dig through their phones, email, etc.

So it's insecurity, which could be for a good reason. Why do you feel insecure? Has he shown you any signs, or is this purely based on past experience?

[smexygirl89]

He had still been seeing his ex even though they were broken up for a few months. He did stop once we got together though. She was sleeping with other men while she was with him... broke his heart. He said her name is his sleep which really upset me but i got over it... he also used to talk about her all the time and about how horrible she was bla bla bla. It did used to bother me but i knew how much she had hurt him so wanted to be there for him and support him. I know they used to talk everynow and then. Supposedly she offered for him to get back with her but he told her he was with me now. A few months into our relationship i found he sent her a msg saying ' i hate you because i miss you so much' things between me and him were great though we worked with each other so spent alot of time with each other. He used to say how terrible she was and delete her off his facebook just to another week or so later they would be friends again. I noticed he deleted this off his page so maybe i wouldnt notice it. I never asked. On valentines day ths year was the first time i went through his phone and found messages to her tellin her that she was impossible to have a relationship, why did she pick him over him?, when they were going halfs in a hotel room and a few other things. I left I was so upset. I ended up driving back to his place that night. He hadnt got me anything for valentines day even though i had bought him a card and all these love heart chocolates etc. He said him n his mate were on the piss when she texted him and they were just trying to stir her up. A few weeks later I found he had texted a michelle sayin 'you should call me =)' we had been together most of that night so he had obviously cancelled the call. There was a message from her saying how she had loved their time spent together but she didnt want to be played around and good luck for him with his studies etc.I found out this was a woman he was sleeping with before him and me got together. I had told him to delete his ex off facebook for good and to stop playing around. I had been so upset about the msgs he sent his ex on valentines. So when i found the message he sent his ex last week i couldnt believe and then he lied to me sayin last time he heard from her was a month ago when she texted him. He comes across as the sort of guy that will stay with a woman even if that relationship isnt ideal. Sorry this is so long!! =)

[smexygirl89]

These are the reasons for me cause for insecurities in our relationship/

[smexygirl89]

Yeh they were pretty bad. Calling her a sl*t and other things.

[smexygirl89]

When I bring it up though. He argues why would he want to go back to that?? And that he isnt calling her all the time and why would he be spending so much time with me if he wanted to be with her. Which is a fair argument.